The Cycle

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So if you guys don't know , I got food poisoned during summer . Ever since I've been having this thing .

It's goes from

- Happy

- Has sad moments

- Cuts

- Eats but throws it up

Then it starts again . Right now I'm in the cuts part and I hate vomiting . Sorry if I don't wrote for the next days or weeks .

I just lost a friend cause her boyfriend (ex now) likes me and he told her so I'm just like .. Yeah .

I'm kinda depressed , is what you call it , but I'm happy , and I'm still trying to figure how that's possible . (TPOBAW)

I'm sorry I'm a fuckup and shit . And I don't really want to vomite and shieeet but it's that .

I guess I'm Anorexic but it doesn't happen every day and I'm pretty fat , if I was I would have a thigh gap and things . (Sorry if you are .)

But yeah .

I mean I'm not perfect .

Were a generation of imperfect people , expecting each other to be perfect . It's just , it doesn't work .

I'm a smart person with a silly attitude so people just assume I'm the happiest little thing on earth, even when I'm sad and things .

I haven't ate in about , since like lunch . I'm afraid I'll throw up .

It started about 3 hours ago .

I cut 5 times . 3 on a thigh and 2 in other .

Not my wrist anymore since people can see it .

Faking a smile is petty sad and things .

I actually am happy at school , just for like friends and candy but at home I just curl up into a ball and cry .

I text people after school but I don't tell them . I'm pretty sure one if them follows me but I don't mind .

So again sorry if I don't update .


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