i can't even.

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ashton irwin. 

"mikey!!!!!" i shouted from downstairs. i was bouncing in excitement, we bought front row tickets to the concert of 500 years of winter!!!!! i had a seizure when we first got the tickets, and now i think i'm experiencing epilepsy when we're driving to a stadium in sydney.

"calm your nonexistent ovaries, ashley!!!!" mikey came down from the stairs, his orange hair arranged in a reversed-skunk style, wearing a gray sweater that was too long on him and a black pair of very tight skinny jeans.

"i can't calm myself if i'm going to meet the father to my babies!" i was referring to luke hemmings. he impregnated me without him knowing. he is just so good looking that he makes my genitals detach and reattach itself onto my crotch area.

"yeah sure, and my face is included in mount rushmore," he sarcastically replied, grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigirator and chugging it down in one go because he's a thirsty bitch for calum and he's not just admitting it. well, if the posters of calum's nudes and bare ass doesn't speak for him then i don't know what will.

"ugh, you're just as equally hungry for that real life calum ass as i am with luke's firm butt," i mocked, shaking my head in a disapproving manner.

"whatever floats your boat, ashley hemmings," he chuckled before grabbing his car keys from the center table. he wore his vans shoes before going out of the front door. i proceeded to wear my black and white converse shoes before following him outside, opening and closing the front door then strolling to his volvo xc60 and sitting at it's passenger seat.

i inserted a white cd wherein i burned all the songs of 500 years of winter into the player and pressed play, english love affair immediately playing and i sang on the top of my lungs.

"when the lights go out!!!! she's all i ever think about!!!! the picture burning in my brain kissing in the rain i can't forget my english love affair!!!!!" i belted out, "today!!! i'm seven thousand miles away!!! the movie playing my head of her king-sized bed means i can't forget my english love affair!!!" i finished my mini-concert with my hands shaped like a microphone.

"stop or it's going to rain," he teased, not removing his gaze from the road. he turned a corner then stopped at a stoplight.

i yawned and rubbed my eyes, i haven't slept a single wink since last night because i was so fucking ecstatic that i have front row seats to my soulmate's concert. i slept through the whole ride which was for like, three hours.

"ashley, wake up, we're here," mikey shook me gently, note the sarcasm, and slapped me in the face. i sprang up from the seat and banged my head on the ceiling. i rubbed the top of my head while wincing and hissing in pain.

"we're here!!!!!!" i squealed, and in the fastest movement known to man, i exited the car and breathed in the fresh air of sydney. the stadium looked bigger than it did in google. 

oh my god!!!!! i'm breathing the same air luke is!!!! i'm hyperventilating help call 000! just kidding, don't. this is a once in a lifetime opportunity to meet my husband on tour and i'm not letting anything, even the 1975 (which is something big because the 1975 is my drug) or the neighborhood (seriously, when i'm ditching those two bands for you then get ready to thank and worship me for seven weeks) ruin this.

"let's go!" mikey shook his hands and stretched it above him, his sweater exposing some bare skin. if i wasn't in love with luke, then i'd be with michael for the longest time.

we showed the grumpy lady the ticket and she let us in with a scowl. i stuck my tongue out at her when she wasn't looking and the people in the line chuckled. we went to our seat and i fished out my iphone from my front pocket, taking a selfie of this life-changing moment. i tweeted it, posted on facebook and instagram, vined it, keeked it, even put it as my status in wattpad that i'm in their concert and attached a link of my selfie in it.

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