Two Lives

Chapter One: Falling Awake

"Uhhh..."

"What? Oh, wait... Meet some cute girls if that's... your... uh, thing?" He said slowly, trying to avoid any personal boundaries being passed.

"No, it's just that I don't see myself really meeting any guys or girls i'll like." I looked upwards in thought. The pure black sky stared back down at me, stunning my thoughts. Losing all train of thought, I stared stupidly up at the darkness.

...

"El? Ya there?"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. Spaced out." I couldn't really figure out what was wrong with me. Just recently i've been blacking out a lot and falling asleep way too early. 

"Or girls?" He stared at me, interested in my response as to my sexuality.

"Huh?"

"You said guys or girls. What's up with you? Got some alzheimers going on?" He smiled teasingly.

"No, I don't, jerk," I laughed playfully, "I guess, guys or girls... I mean, I never really saw myself with a girl.... but I never saw myself with a guy either..." The statement was partially true, I never really imagined myself with anyone... I was always too swamped with work and school that I couldn't think about anything else.

"Asexual, eh? Cool!" He joked, laughing as he turned back around and faced forward.

"That's not what I meant, Lucas!" I giggled. I looked to my side and noticed our apartment building off in the distance. I hadn't realized how much, Lucas, distracted me while we were walking home. It had to be at least a twenty minute walk...

"Hey, so, Lucas?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you like girls? Guys?" I asked, genuinely curious and trying to maintain our previous topic. I looked at him and he seemed to be in deep thought.

His face strained into a serious effort of thought. He looked back at me, and raised his hand to the back of his head and scratched.

"I'm asexual!" He joked, laughing. "No, but on a completely serious note, I thought you knew this already, El?" He looked back at me with a confused expression on his face.

"Uhm." I tried to remember, and even after a good amount of effort, I just couldn't. My brain turned to mush as I tried to pry around the blocks in my mind that guarded the information I tried to retrieve. I just couldn't remeber...

"I told you a week ago..." He said, staring at me with concern in his eyes, "sometimes it really seems like you do have alzheimers..." He looked away from me. I could see concern plague his facial features. I knew something was going wrong in my life, but I just couldn't figure out what it was. Before I could continue to relish in my depressive thoughts, Lucas, as if on cue, grabbed my hand and jabbed me in my upper arm.

"Hey, whatever. I'm sure it's nothing. You'll feel better after the party tomorrow, for sure! You've been working yourself to death lately, take a break." He led me up to the doors of our apartment's main entrance and held the door open for me. I thanked him and walked inside, relieved at the air conditioner that swathed my body.

"You never answered my question, by the way, Lucas. Guys or girls?" I teased, grinning.

"Well. Both. Bisexual? Or maybe pansexual? I dunno, i'll leave it up to you. Will you remember this time?" He joked, gently shoving me. I shoved him back and he chuckled.

"You're weak, can't even push me an inch. Tsk, tsk, tsk, El. Need me to teach you weight training?" He asked in a humorous manner.

"Actually... I might hold you to that." I held my arm up and flexed it. I was pretty weak...

"Oh... I was kidding, but if you really want me to, I will," he smirked at me, leading me through the main hall to the stairs, "first lesson, jog up the stairs." He sprinted up the first fleet and waited at the top for me.

"Nuuuuuuh..." I groaned, "Lucas, my apartment is at the seventh freaking floor and i'm exhausted." I frowned, "and this isn't weight training, it's cardio." I closed my eyes and yawned, leaning on the wall for support.

"Want me to carry you up?" He asked in a worried tone, walking down the steps back to me.

"Yes. Sort of. No." My brain indecisively avoided the question,"piggy-back." I pouted my bottom lip out as he rolled his eyes.

"Sure." He hosited me up onto his back and jogged up the stairs, he was seriously athletic. I kept thinking about my life on the way up the stairs as he jogged. What was wrong with me? Lately it has seemed like I have been outside of my body, literally. It was as if I was starting to fade from who I was...

"Ellie?"

"El?"

"E-"