"Ms. Altman, you're on in ten minutes." A stagehand said as she peeked into the green room I was in. I nodded, thanking her silently before turning back to stare at the ceiling.
It was obvious what the universe was trying to tell me. I was unfit to be a mother to another human. It all makes sense, why else would I miscarry twice?
Sure, if you look at it in a more scientific reasonable point of view, it's natural. It was natural for my body to reject the baby at eleven years old. It was natural for it to reject the baby a second time the other day. It was all natural.
It was all natural.
Everyone said that. Dr. James, my mother, my father, Zayn, his mother, his father, Ben, Jenny; everyone who knew about the baby, said it was only natural for me to miscarry.
It wasn't natural; it was meant to be.
Jenny walked into the room with Zayn a moment later. She talked to him for a moment before she turned to me, calling something over and leaving again. Zayn picked me up, moving so I could lay on him.
I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to go through this stupid plan of going public. I didn't want to be in New York. I didn't want to be in this green room. I didn't want to go on this stupid show. I just wanted Zayn's warm arms to hold me tight for the rest of eternity, keeping me safe from the pain and cruelty of the world we lived in.
"I read your diary entry while I was getting my hair and make-up done." He said suddenly when a stagehand called five minutes. I looked up at him expectantly, waiting for him to reprimand me for being so foolish. "You're so brave and trusting of the world, Ryan, even after all it's done to you. You amaze me a little bit more everyday." He whispered, kissing me softly. "I don't care that you told your fans about our baby, if anything I'm proud. I'm so proud that you aren't closing up on them, not like most people would."
"I'm deleting it soon. . ." I whispered, getting up and walking to the mirrors. I straightened out my dress and blouse, tucking in a stray hair that fell from my bun. I looked like a librarian.
"I think that's the original Veronica outfit." I couldn't help but giggle, smiling a little at him through the mirror. "There's my beautiful princess!" He smiled back, but deep in his eyes you could see the pain.
He was feeling what I felt. He lost his child just as I lost mine.
This was new.
Through my first miscarriage, everyone thought I was upset about the situation - not the miscarriage itself. Hell, they were happy the baby was gone. They thought he'd be a reminder to me that his father was a monster.
That little boy was my angel, though. He wasn't a burden on me, nor did he remind me of evil. He reminded me that I made it through something so horrific, that anything was possible.
And then he was taken from me.
And so was this little one, this unknown baby. I barely had a chance to get to know them, but I had taken to that bond so quickly every chance I got.
"You're on in two, Ms. Altman." Another stagehand called. I sighed and took Zayn's hand. We walked towards the stage, where I'll be forced to do a small interview before Zayn comes on stage.
"How do I look - face wise?" I asked a random stagehand, my hand still held tight by Zayn's.
"You look amazing, like you've just taken a warm shower." She smiled warmly at me before scampering off to complete a task. I guided Zayn towards the stage, stopping just off camera like I was directed to.
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Just Five Minutes // z.mFanfiction
Zayn Malik has recently broken up with his fiancee Perrie Edwards. Ryan Altman is an aspiring author who's working on her second novel. After meeting Louis at an awards show, Ryan hangs out with the 1D boys, where she admits that her celebrity crus...