It was hard to believe that Pewds didn't remember what he confessed last night, I couldn't blame him though, he had no control over what he was doing in that drunken haze. I should have played it safe and considered the relationship he was in with Marzia. There was no way he'd actually chose me over her; not when they have a history while we were distant friends at best.
I spend the next hour thinking about this while I recorded a play through. I wondered if the fans will notice my lack of emotion and my constant pondering when I should be doing the task I'd been given by the game characters. I soon come to a stop with recording, seeing how I wasn't really progressing. I sigh, removing my glasses to rub my face and under my eyes. My sigh dragged out as I debated what to do next. At the moment I just didn't have any motivation to do anything productive, let alone think of how to confront Felix. Well that was until I heard a light tapping on my door. I sat up and looked at the blonde swede standing in the door frame. He looked like a lost puppy who washed up on a river bank. Sad, alone, scared, heartbroken. God, I fucked up so hard, I don't know what to do, he looks like he damn near in tears.
"I talked to Ken... he said I should talk with you..." He told Ken? He- I don't have any right to complain, those two were always much closer than we were.
I took a deep breath and let it out though my nose, "I see... were do you want to start then?"
He sighed and gently scratched the back of his neck before sitting down on the bed next to me, staring at his hands like they were the most interesting thing in the world. "Well... My mind is a fuzz just after we started drinking."
I raked my mind trying to remember the details of last night, though I was unsure of how in depth he wanted me to actually go. I sat in silence trying to recreate the story to tell Felix. He was patient with me, waiting for me to begin.
"Well, we did what we usually did, played video games and threw nasty comments at each other when one would win. After that I believe we watched some movies you you decided we should stop drinking and go to bed... well... one thing led to another and..." I hadn't noticed my voice getting softer and softer as I rambled, my cheeks feeling hot.
Felix looked down at his hands, taking everything in. I notice him lick his lips and quickly looked elsewhere. "I have one question," I nodded, signaling for him to continue, "Did I consent?"
This time I looked down at my hands, replaying the events in my head. God, I hope he doesn't hate me for this answer...
"Well... You were the one who kind of... initiated it..." I stated and repaired myself for a tongue lashing. He was silent. So silent that we could here the cat trotting around in the living room.
".......... I see. I guess... I guess this will be our secret from now on." Was all he said. I felt terrible. I slumped over, nearly folding myself in half,
"I'm sorry, Felix... I'm so fucking sorry..." I muttered out, I think my voice cracked somewhere in there as well. My nose was starting to get runny and my eyes felt like they were burning.
I pulled my arms around myself in an attempt to comfort, my eyes watering as I began struggling for breath. I must look so pathetic right now. I felt a warm hand come in contact with my back, I twitched upon reflex. That warm hand began to rub comforting small circles into my back. He's pitying me, isn't he?
"Ryan, look at me." I heard him coo gently. I did as was told, swallowing snotty textured spit before mentally cringing that I just did that. "Ryan, please don't be so hard on yourself, if anyone's to blame, it's me; I came on to you, I gave alcohol, hell, Ryan, I bought them in the first place. Everything transpired because of me. Everyone keeps deep dark secrets from even those that we're closest to... And even though I don't remember it, we had the time of our lives last night. I'm not going to give up a friend because of it, especially not a friend like you."
I gave a weak but genuine smile between hiccups. He returned the smile and pulled me in close, I buried my face in his neck as he somehow managed to shimmy my onto his lap, continuing to rub his soothing circles on my back.
"It's okay to cry, Cry, just let it all out. you'll feel better. Bros before hoes, always and forever." I couldn't help but giggle into his neck at all his smart remarks. Pewdie was still Pewdie.
After fifteen minutes of Felix attempting to calm me down, I finally managed to calm down to a sniffle. I swear, once you start crying you can't stop your nose from running long after you stop. I pull myself away from Pewd's and do the nasty; I wipe my nose with my hand and proceed to wipe it on my pants.
"Gross..." Felix chuckled, I chuckled as well, "Feel better?" I smiled and nodded. I still blame myself for last night, but he helped take away some of the pain, and also stuck by me like a true friend.
YOU ARE READING
Our Little SecretRomance
I'm dedicating this story to a person who recently left Wattpad, may she be happy wherever she is and may she read this story one day. May I see you again one day, Melzorg. Now excuse me while I go die from pulling an all nighter writing this. New S...