chapter one

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chapter 1 -

~Luke’s pov~

Today, today was my fucking day.  I was so ready, well that was a bit of a lie, I had been looking forward to this day for my whole life but I still felt shaky on my feet. It’s like watching a video on how to do something and then going to start and still not knowing what to do. 

Except this was so much fucking more. This was the beginning of the rest of my life.

Today I turned 14 and I would get my first sign. For the sake of a theoretical confused audience in my head, I shall explain.

When you turn 14 you start getting physical signs that show up on your body, the same exact marks are also, naturally, on your soulmate. You get a sign roughly every season, big ones on your birthdays, smaller ones at the other times and using these you have to find your soulmate, who will also be getting some of your traits.

It was fun and scary at the same time, having your heart’s future dropped into your hands when you’re barely responsible enough to take care of a goldfish, with only your body as an irritatingly vague map on where you’re supposed to go.

So, here I am, sitting on my couch, trying desperately to kill time until my first mark appeared. It felt like the night before a concert and I was doing anything to make it later, I had watched all of the Cheetah Girls movies and was now watching Spongebob.  

I just wanted to get my fucking mark already, but there was doubt clouding my mind as well. What if his mark was really hard to understand? What if there’s a freak accident and I don’t have a soulmate? What if I grow  boobs and have to start high school wearing a bra? What if my soulmate is way older than me? What if my soulmate hasn’t even been born yet and I have to wait 14 years to find them? 

“What if, what if, what if...” I mutter to myself mockingly, “Stop being fucking stupid Luke, everything is gonna be fine.” 

My self pep talk was interrupted by my mom walking into the room, my dad right behind her, carrying a small cake that said

“Happy Birthday to our baby boy” in baby blue frosting, the cake was red velvet, my absolute favorite and I dug in barely giving myself enough time to say thank you.

My parents just beamed and my mom said, 

“We’re gonna give you your space, for when the time comes.” Before winking like I was gonna go into labor or something. I rolled my eyes and my mom just let out a breathy laugh before walking down the hall, my dad nodding encouragingly at me before following suite.

Despite the fact that I thought they were making too big of a deal out of this, I knew that this was very important and exciting for them too. Their last baby was finally at the threshold of the first point of adulthood, and they wanted it to be as perfect as Jack and Ben’s were. 

Ben’s 14th birthday had fallen two days before he started freshman year, and he had managed to find his soulmate the first day of school. It was rare, but Annie, his soulmate, was without a doubt the only one for him. 

Jack had taken a year but he finally found... him. Jack’s soulmate had been a kid named Harry that was the sweetest slice of sunshine pie that ever existed, Jack met him at  a bakery where Harry had been working and had sent out Jack’s cupcake with a note attached that simply said,

“It’s you.” 

Jack was surprised but after talking to the boy and touching him, his marks disappeared and his dimples vanished, his eyes returning to blue from the green they had been for quite some time, and he knew that Harry was his soulmate. All of us had accepted him without question and they had an adopted daughter now named Darcy (I am a basic bitch kms) that was the cutest thing ever.

It was my turn and even though I knew that they would be happy and proud no matter what I felt a bit of added pressure to find my soulmate in some spectacular or ridiculously serendipitous fashion. I suck farther down on the couch and sighed, and willed myself to think of the positives of what was to come.

I’m gonna have someone that’s mine, someone who’s mine that I know is meant to be mine forever. I’ve read stories about worlds where you had to try a lot of people before you found your soulmate, and that some of them make you feel broken and unloved when they leave. That would be horrible, not knowing if the person is going to be yours forever or if they’re going to abandon your love and leave you to mop it up the best you can and have to rebuild your ability to trust it with someone else who might do the exact same thing. It might take a while but when I meet my soulmate that will be it, no chance of heartbreak, just an open doorway to a lifetime of love.

Now if it would only fucking hurry up and happen.

I sighed again and glanced at my phone to check the time, it was 10:30, at some point in the next hour and a half I was going to start the rest of my life. But the seconds felt like centuries, disappointing ones, each one held promise of the answer to all of my problems, each one falling short but falling slowly stubborn like a mule.

After what felt like an eternity I checked his phone again, 10:33, I groaned and threw my phone onto the other end of the couch and thought about how I could possibly move this horrid waiting along. Pulling myself off the couch with unreasonable difficulty caused by my impatience, I walked to my room and shut the door behind me. 

I plopped face down on my bed and just lay there, hoping that when I came up again I would have my mark and my life could finally start having meaning and purpose. I sat up, although foolishly hopeful, knowing that it would be there. I was right.

I checked my alarm clock, it was 10:40, and I was starting to believe that whatever makes time go forward had been dropped into molasses and left to continue agonizingly slow. I would probably be an old man by the time I got my mark, that wouldn’t be attractive now would it?

I thought of reading but then I remembered that any mention of a boy and a girl would cause my mind to drift to my soulmate and then I would get frustrated again. I cradled my head in my hands and took a deep breath of angst and longing, I was already gonna have to wait all summer until school started again to be around kids my age and hopefully find my soulmate, why did I have to wait for what seemed like a world record for the latest in a day a mark has appeared.

I pulled my head up and was trying to think of what else I could do until I noticed it, racing over to my wall I flicked on the light switch and what I thought I saw was confirmed. My heart leapt for joy before shattering.

Dozens and dozens of scars, varying in length and depth, were appearing on my wrists like thin brush strokes of pink and red. I wasn’t stupid, I know these scars weren’t from my soul mate being clumsy, these scars were made with malicious intent. My soulmate, whoever she may be, is hurting, not just physically but mentally to a point where the distraction of their own blood was worth making it pour out themselves.

I have to find her, whoever, wherever, she is. I am her soulmate, it is my job to make sure she never feels alone or upset and she’s out there somewhere fighting a war with own mind.

I can’t let her demons win. 

I have to find her.

A/n: so how was that? This was pretty long I think and I don’t know if the other chapters will be that long I just wanted a really nice well put together start to this story because I love the concept of it and I want to execute it as close to what I imagine for it as possible. Muke will happen eventually ok, so don’t freak. This story will be told in Luke’s point of view the whole time (well that might change, but that’s the plan) because if you knew Michael’s thoughts it would give a lot away and I kinda want you all feeling bad for Luke and feeling like you’re in his shoes because if you know what Michael is thinking then you’re gonna get pissed at Luke for being oblivious. (dID THAT SPOIL ANYTHING? idk fuck shit) 

anyways hope you enjoy and next chapter will be up whenever I can write it, maybe another one this weekend because I don’t have much homework bless the moon lord Zayn.

bye and remember vote, comment, subscribe, and share with your friends and stuff if you think they’d like it because if any of my fanfics are ever gonna ‘make it big’ I want it to be this one. 

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