Chapter Thirty-Four (L.H.)

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Oh lookey... a new POV... Only cause it'd be awkward for Harry or Niall to be viewing this. 

Connie doesn't do awkward 

*Snorts*

Obviously you've never talked to me if you believe that. 

Chapter Thirty-Four

Resolutions and lovers in the kitchen

Love is clueless and destiny is wishing

This is my heart. It's on the line

I was nervous, there was no doubt about that as I walked up to the familiar door. My hands were shaking, my heart probably beating a thousand miles per second. I felt sick to my stomach, dread and worry eating away at me as I reached it. I almost didn't want to knock for I was scared of what waited on the other side. 

I had to knock though, even if I didn't want to. 

So that's what I did, standing awkwardly as I waited for him to answer the door. When he finally did, it was with a smile that fell the second he saw me. 

"Luke..." He sounded sad, and for a brief moment I wondered if that smile was fake to begin with... Maybe just maybe, he still cared. 

Of course that's just foolish thinking, right? 

"Hi..." 

"What are you doing here?" 

"I... I thought it was about time we talked." I looked away from him, suddenly finding my shoes far more entertaining. 

"Oh... Do you want to come in then?" I looked back up at him, biting my lip softly before nodding. Michael moved out of the way, allowing me inside. The place was still the same as it always had been, but then again it had been about a week since I last saw Michael... It didn't end that well. 

"What do you want to talk about?" He asked as soon as I was in, shutting the door behind him before leaning against it. He crossed his arms over his chest, his guard was up... 

"Us... About what I did... I want to apologize... Michael, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'm so fucking sorry, and I understand if you never want anything to do with me again. I just... I know I never really showed you, but I love you. I love you, so much that it hurts. It scares me, and that's why I did it. You're everything I need, you're the one who I saw having a life with and being happy till we were old and gray... and it scared me. I didn't want  you to see the cracks and painted over scars... I didn't want you to see just how fucked up I was..." 

"That's because you're selfish, you're so fucking selfish Luke. You only think about yourself, not caring that your actions have consequences. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe I fucking wanted to see the cracks? I wanted to fix them. I wanted to fix you... But you won't even let me in, you hide behind that stupid cocky ass mask of yours and pretend everything is okay. You don't care about anything but yourself, as long as you're okay, everything else is fucking peachy." Michael's voice was dead, staying in a single tone. It was scary, the way he was looking at me didn't help much... He wasn't showing any emotion... He wasn't being Michael. 

"I know. I know that... But you're wrong, I care about you." 

"I can really tell when you let another guy shove his dick up your ass." 

"Look, I know I fucked up b-"

"When will you stop justifying yourself? Whoopity doo, you fucked up. Now accept it as it is and stop trying to make it seem like you didn't do anything wrong." 

"Stop treating me like a child." 

"Stop acting like one." Michael hissed out, glaring at me. I wasn't quite sure if I should be happy about that or not... He was finally showing emotion. I didn't know what to say for a moment, opting to look away from him again. It fell silent, neither of us having anything nice to say I'm sure. Finally though, I gained the courage again. 

"I... I'm sorry. I fucked up and I'm done trying to justify... I hurt you and I can never take that back. You'll probably hate me for the rest of your days... I just... I wanted you to know that despite everything, I love you. I've loved you since the first time you smiled at me all the way back to senior year... I know you don't believe me, and hell I have a hard time believing myself sometimes. I just... I love you Michael, and I probably said it a little too late. I understand if you never want to see me again.. and I understand if you hate me." I bit my lip as I felt the sudden urge to cry coming over me. I took in a shaky breath before walking over to the door, Michael grabbed my arm though, making me stop. 

"I don't hate you... You know I could never hate you." He whispered, looking at me with sad eyes. 

"You have every right to hate me Michael..." 

"Maybe I do, but I don't. I could never hate you... I love you too much for that. Yeah I'm hurt, and yeah I'm really pissed about this, but I still love you. I"ll love you till the day I die probably... You're the one I want Luke... I just... Right now things... Things aren't the way they should be. I think... I think we both need to figure out what it is we want, and maybe then we can move on from this..." 

"You're what I want Mikey..." 

"Then tell me that tomorrow, or the day after that... Just not today." 

"Why not?" 

"Because you have a habit of changing your mind... I want you to be sure I'm what you want, and when you figure it out I'll be waiting for you... Sitting in this very room with open arms... but you have to know. I... I can't go through this again Luke." I only nodded, not really able to form my thoughts into words. He let go of my arm, moving away from the door completely so I could leave. 

"This isn't goodbye right?" I asked before I opened it. Michael gave me a small smile before shaking his head. 

"No... This is more of a see you later alligator..." 

"After a while crocodile." And I left, the sound of his musical laughter in the background. 

Everything was going to be okay... It had to be. 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

So... Muke is kinda back on track. 

That's a plus.

Anyways, I hate you all.

Just kidding.

But seriously? Same anal same dick? Sucking ass then sucking dick? Sluts are totally sucking dick?

Is there ever anything besides dick on the brain? 

Jesus.

There was only two people who guessed it, and then a really deep person (thank you for that btw) who said it was So As The Shiver Died and that's why they're getting the dedication.

But the title is Slut and The Slut Dresser

So kudos to those who guessed it correctly, the rest of you I suggest that you should probably go see your priest and confess your sins. 

Dedication:

jmikey

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Connie xx 

 

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