one hundred and seven

47 3 1

chapter 107
"when i felt i was getting bad again"

this is a record of
blunt words harvested by
a girl who has no idea
how to dance in the rain

i sigh.

tell me I've been lied to.
i cannot let
raindrops
drown me anymore

i cry.

everything i feel is so intense
i cut away at the thoughts
that pull me under the water
because i know that i'm not
the perfect daughter

I die.

choking on his words.
a laugh almost escapes me
but i catch it in time
and tell him he does not
deserve to see me smile

I sigh.

tell me i've been lied to.
i cannot let
sparks of fire
burn me anymore

i cry.

everything i feel is so rapid
i sing to the songs
that set me on fire
because i know
that i am not what he desires

I die.

burning in the rubble.
nails dig into my skin
and i realise
i am getting bad again

I sigh.

tell me i am overreacting
i cannot let
fire
freeze me anymore

I cry.

everything i feel is so invalid
i scream at the sun
for making the world so cold
because i know
even silver could turn gold

I die.

my heart turns to ice
and i tell him
baby i don't feel
so good

finally, I sigh.

I have to bite my tongue
I have made myself bleed
so many times

and i am still here
absolutely
empty
for him.

{09/04/19}

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