Twisted

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"I wanna be a cat." "What?" "Fuck you!"

"Get your head out of that mother fucking book."

"Why is everyone in the kingdom white?"

"Okay Jesus Christ, I have no idea what is going on."

"TIGER FUCKER!"

"He fucked a tiger."

"I see the back of your balls."

"His arm is all fucked up. And now... now he can't come with me to cowboy camp!"

"Cause that Princess is ooo hella tight."

"Her butt oh and her totties ah, she's just so so-" "Beautiful?" "Fuckable."

"Take off your clothes."

"I feel compelled subconsciously."

"I killed my parents?"

"Why seek employment, when life offers such enjoyment."

"No more fucking raisins."

"Did we get the bread?" "No, no I'm sorry the thief got awa-" "Yes, yes we got the bread." "Hail... Allah."

"Intellectual property, whatever that means."

"It's all your fault Jafar."

"Captain-" "Don't you mean princess?"

"Fortune favors the beautiful-" "Oh contre!"

"How was I to know she fell in love with her capture? To me that doesn't seem entirely healthy."

"Unlike Aladdin, he probably had a family that loved him!" "Yes-" "Exactly."

"Her cave of wonders!"

"Let me see that magic carpet."

"Stealing is easy when you already have a lot of gold."

"I only wished to have a coat made of puppies!" "Why would you do that?!"

"Ala- Al- Lll" "Aladdin?" "Yes, Aladdin. A name that will forever be burned into my soul."

"Whooshshsh! Whoooshshsh!"

"Moonbeam pie!"

"Monkey said we should kill you and I said ha no monkey that's crazy, but now I'm thinking... yeah."

"My skins burning off."

"They're stretch marks, they happen."

"Let's make ours a story with no end."

"Somewhere!"

"I betrayed my Sultan, the highest act of treason!"

"A song is a dick in sheep's clothing, a song means a dick is on the way."

"All those masters of craftsmen just thrown right out the window!" "Out of the highest window in the western tower."

"Just one question why man?" "Cause you stole my daughter's hymen!" "Dude your daughters hot." "Heh yeah."

"They're after me! They're after you?" "There she is guys, get her."

"Could ever a trust a face that triggers such disgust!"

"Fuck you, fuck you."

"Twisted."

"Follow the golden rule."

"Took you long enough. She says yes!"

"My hunger blinded me and caused me to act like an animal."

"It is my right Jafar!"

"No high five."

"Lowly and poor, but like with money."

"We're all princesses."

"Poor people need slaves too. Maybe even a little bit more."

"You're a part of the problem." "Uh yes miss."

"I wish you every happiness." "It is done."

"Tell me Jafar, how the fuck did it get there?!"

"That's right, bring Achmed his tiger and no one gets hurt."

"Sultan, princess? This guy is a sorcerer. Think about it! How is it that he knows so much shit? Hey Ja'far, where do hippopotamuses come from?" "Africa." "See, how did you fucking know that, sorcerer?"

"If you just keep your mouth shut!"

"Behold. Behold! BeHoLd! BEHOLD!"

"Many years ago, I took my finger and I pushed in my penis. And it hasn't come out since. I will now hear from the court."

"I want everything and more!"

"I steal everything, meaning everything! Ah ha ha ha ha!"

"We're so young. Your sixteen and I'm... yeah wow. I'm only thirty three."

"The others couldn't handle it because my story's just too sAdAdAd."

"Being orphaned at 33."

"I'm gonna live forever!"

"Whoa w - w - w - whoa! I can't give up on my dreams and settle down just because your dad's being a dick."

"Lick my sweaty body with your tongue?"

"Do not feed me a shit and call it couscous, Ja'far."

"Come home from a one sided massacre."

"Cause dude, once I get my mind set on a chick, I just can't move on. Until I get this nut out." "Well first you must escape the Tiger Head Cave with your life! Then you can get your nut out!"

"Wow. Pretty *and* smart. You're the whole shebang, babe."

"God I'm flaking out. What is his name?" "Aladdin." "I'm gonna write that down."

"I was not charmed by the song you sang when you came out of the lamp and I am not charmed by your crazy bullshit now. You either need to back me the fuck up or shut the fuck up? Got it?"

"And what of our story? How does it end?" "It doesn't."

"What of the Apple carts?!" "They're all turned over!"

"I walked right into his shop, and I fucked his puppy." "What?" "Ja'far! That is another common expression. Yeah! It means that I put that merchant in his place as *if* he were a defenseless little puppy." "Oh. Oh... colorful expressions in the marketplace these days."

"It is I that will be doing the fucking today!"

"Everyone's a princess!"

"A purt ass my lord."








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