Chapter 45

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I feel someone shaking me awake and see Abel standing over me with his hands on my shoulders, "babe, it's time to go out..." he mumbles, "w-what..?" I mumbled, "what time is it?" I ask him as I lift my head, "it's 6:30 lizzy." "oh..." I mumbled getting up, "we're you drinking..?" He asks me. I nod and go to the living room grabbing my keys, "were good right?" I ask him. He nods and I kiss him, "I gotta go get changed." I say to Him. He nods and sits down on my couch. I go upstairs and into my room getting into a short red dress and fixing my makeup. When I got downstairs Abel got up and came over to me taking my hand in his gently, "I love you Carmen." He says to me, "I love you too." I say to him giving him a weak smile. He brings me to his car and we get in and Abel makes small talk about work and whatever, "where's Chuck?" He asked me, "she had to move out, she went to New York again to go to a photography college." I say to him, "a-are you okay with that..?" Abel asks me, "I want what's best for her, I want her to be better than me." I say to him, "then why are you drinking?" He asks me looking at me then back to the road, "Abel, she's the only person I trusted my whole life, I took care of her and raised her." I say feeling tears about to break, "Hey, Lizzy everything is going to be alright..." Abel mumbles rubbing my thigh gently, "i-i don't know Abel I just, I'm worried Abel, I don't have anyone anymore..." I tell him, "you have me Lizzy." Abel says to me, "no I don't, we can't even be together because of fucking Bella." I say angrily, "Carmen I'm sorry..." He mumbled. I sigh and look out the window thinking about all the shit in my life until we get into the restaurant. He opens the door for me and I get out and we go into the restaurant together. We sit at a table and we're quite for a bit until Abel finally breaks the silence, "when is your album coming out?" He asks me, "I'm not sure I need a record company to be interested in me First." I say looking at the menu, "I'll help you, if you want," Abel tells me, "I can probably get you back with your old record company they have a headquarters here." I smile at him slightly and nod, "yeah, that would be great thank you bab- I mean Abel..." I say smiling at him but my smile faltering when I remember we couldn't act like we were together. He smiles back at me and he began to talk about other things with me. After dinner Abel smiles at me, "you wanna see my favorite place in the city?" He asks me. I smile and nod as we get into the car. He begins to drive towards the mountains where the Hollywood sign was, "Abel we aren't..." I say smiling at him, "we are." "are we allowed up there at night?" I ask him, "when did you start caring about rules Ms. Grant?" I laugh and pat his leg playfully as we get to the mountain. Abel parks at the bottom and we begin are walk to the top. When we get to the road behind the sign Abel smirks and hops the fence, "what are you doing???" I whisper yell at him in confusion, "trust me Car." He says back. I sigh and climb the fence jumping into Abel's arms. We go next to the h and Abel's shows me the view if LA, "Abel it's beautiful..." "I thought it was..." He mumbled, "I never thought I'd get here Abel, I always thought I'd be stuck on the east coast forever..." I say sliding my hand into his, "I've wanted to come here since I was a little girl, see where all my favorite stars lived, that's why I bought a house here before but I couldn't really leave new York much because of singing." I explain to him. "Is it better than what you've seen?" He asks me. I nod, "I've never seen anything quite as beautiful..." I say looking out at the skyscrapers and streets with a glowing orange tint, "I have..." Abel mumbles. I turn to him to see he was looking at me, "You're perfect Carmen..." Abel says to me stroking my cheek and leaning in for a kiss  "Hey! Who's over there?!" A security guard yells through the gate, "shit..." Abel grumbles under his breath taking my hand and pulling me down behind a bush hiding from the mans flashlight, "It's just us together lana, no one else okay..?" He whispers rubbing my arms gently. I smile and pull him into a kiss, "you're being so sweet..." I whisper to him giving him another Kiss, "Lizzy I love you." he says to me. I kiss him some more and we begin to make out the cop eventually going away, "tesfaye..." I mumbled out, "what's wrong?" He says against my cheek, "if we go back to my place, would you spend the night?" "of course-" "I mean would you stay..?" I ask him, "would you be there when I wake up in the morning..?" I ask him, "I dont know lana..." He says to me, "I want you to be there Tesfaye, I want you to stay with me baby..." I say to him. He sighs and pulls me against him, "you know I have to go with Bella..." He says, "that's what I don't understand, if you're with Bella why are you with me? If you love her too much to leave her what's the point of having me..." I say sadly, "because I loved you first." He says to me, "then leave her." "I cant-" "then we shouldn't be together, I don't wanna be your whore Abel. If you love her then go be with her. I say getting up and walking to the fence, "Lizzy, come on baby-" "you know I left my boyfriend in a minute for you, came all the way to LA because you wanted me here, and now all I am to you is a friend with benefits." "Carmen you mean so much more to me, I love you Carmen." "You say that but you don't mean it." I mumble as I begin to climb the fence, "how can I prove it to you?" He asks me, "stay with me tonight, if you're there when I wake up, I'll know, if you leave I'll know you love Bella more and we're over." I say to him, "okay..." he says climbing over the fence to me. He takes my hand and walks us back to the car. The drive back home was silent, Abel seemed tense. I was scared too, I didn't want to loose him. When we get back to my place we went upstairs, Abel begins to kiss me and I let him. I feel him begin to unbutton my dress and push it off. I pull him towards the bed and he gets on top of me. This might be the last time we'll be together. I pull off his jacket and unbutton his shirt, "tesfaye I can't do this..." I mumbled to him. He nods and pulls me into his chest, "Carmen, I just want you to know that I care a lot about you..." he mumbles. He's gonna leave. I kiss him and hug him then go to my drawer grabbing a shirt and putting it on then getting in Bed. Abel takes off his pants and shoes and pulls me into his arms kissing my Forehead. I soon fall asleep in his arms.
I feel Carmen relax and try to sleep as Well until I hear the buzzing of my phone on the nightstand. I try to ignore it, I knew who it was. I feel Carmen stir, "Abel shut that off..." She mumbles. I grabbed my phone and answered it, "hello..?" I answered, "Abel where are you?" Bella asks me, "I'm out babe." I tell her, "are you with that lana girl again?" She asks me, "Lana's just a friend." I Say a bit quieter so Lizzy wouldn't hear, "I'll be home soon honey." "Promise Abel?" She asks, "I promise." "Okay I love you baby." She says to me. "I love you too Bel, bye." I look at Carmen sleeping and sigh sliding my arm out from under her gently, trying not to wake her up. I get my clothes on and look at her one last time. She probably isn't serious... I think to myself as I leave the house.

Carmen | Lana Del Rey x The Weekend |Read this story for FREE!