Hetalia according to my...

Okay! So, have you seen those pictures of the Hetalia character that say what their parents think of the Hetalia characters? They usually say “According to my (blank)” above it? The more inappropriate the funnier. Well, I decided to do some of those. And I’m hoping you all will do it also and tell me what they said so I can add it here. :) You can show them any picture (hopefully they are clothed) and please link the picture if you tell me what Hetalia is according to the person. (Can be parents, siblings, grandparents, friends, teachers, the random hobo who always hangs out at the bus stop, anyone!)