Dark Depth

Chapter 36

Fern~

I try to find my way back towards the car. The trees are tall and the leaves are on the verge of turning yellow. It makes me excited to see that it is finally almost Autumn and almost Halloween.

I see a break in the trees and find myself back on the road.

Jesse sits in the passenger seat staring ahead at nothing in particular.

I drag myself towards the car and hop into the driver's seat. He looks up at me with those dark blue eyes and smiles.

"Hey," he whispers," I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I love you. I genuinely love you ,Fern."

"I know."

"Then why aren't you speaking to me?"

"I don't know..."

"Fern, as much as sex is appealing...it isn't the reason I love you."

Now he's caught my attention.

"How do you-"

"Fern I love you for you and I don't even care if we stop having sex right now."

"How do you know that?" I demand.

"Fern, how I know is not-"

"Jesse how do you fucking know that?" I yell now.

He stops. "Fern, I might've read your diary."

I whip back in my seat so fast to look at the backseat, where my duffel bag is still crudely open with the pink journal sticking out.

"Jesse!" I yell grabbing my journal and hugging it to my chest. "This is my own private stuff! You had no right to go through it!"

"I know Fernie," he whispers guilt strewn across his face. "But I just wanted-I needed to know why you were mad."

"That gives you no right," I breath holding back the tears. I feel like my privacy has been extricated from me and all my deep dark secrets slapped across my face, for everyone to see.

"I'm sorry you felt this way," he says his voice barely audible. "I can't believe it's my fault."

"Jesse I-" I don't know where to go. "I've never had a boyfriend before... I hardly ever spoke to boys before. I don't know what I'm doing with this-with us- and I don't know if we rushed it or what."

"Fern," he says. "I love you and I promise that I won't ever leave you or make you feel like shit, do you understand?"

I nod my head slowly and he takes my fingers and kisses it.

"I'm okay with just you," he says. "I love you for you no matter what."

"So you're saying that you want it to stop?" I ask with a smirk.

"No...but-"

"Exactly..." I say rolling my eyes.

"It's not because of that,Fern. Sex is a form of showing affection...to me it's special. Something that shouldn't be thrown around like a toy. I believe that unless you're fully commited to a person...you shouldn't have sex.I need you to believe that I'm not that type of person. Having sex is showing you that I love you. It's the same as kissing or hugging but more intimate...more exclusive. I'm not doing it just because I feel like it. I'm doing it because i love you. I love every single thing about you."

He grabs my face between his hands and kisses me. I soften into the kiss and run my hands through his curly hair.

"If I didn't truly love you...I wouldn't let myself do that," he says pulling away.

"I believe you." I whisper and kiss him again.

"Good," he smiles and kisses the top of my head.

He unbuckles my seat belt and I climb over the center console and sit on his lap so that I'm facing him.

He smirks and looks up at me.

I begin kissing him, placing my hands on his chest.

He breaks the kiss for a minute to get rid of his shirt. I rake my hands up and down his bare chest. Feeling his soft skin beneath my fingers.

He grabs hold of the hem of my shirt and pulls it above my head exposing my black lace bra...which, due to the fact that it was was the only one in my closet, was too small for me.

He chuckles and I swat his arm before reconnecting our lips.

He pulls away and begins kissing down my neck towards my chest. He unclasps my bra swiftly and kisses each one of my breasts softly. He takes each one in his hands and kneads them while finding my lips once again.

I trail my hands down and unbutton his jeans before pulling them down along with his boxers.

He moves his hands from my breasts to my skirt which he hitches up before pulling down my panties.

He helps me lower down into him. Due to the position we're in he goes deeper than usual causing a moan to erupt from my lips.

After a while of letting me adjust he guides me up and down letting me get the hang of it before kissing me vigorously. I brace my hands on the car seat behind his head as I bounce up and down on his cock.

He grunts as he places his hands to my hips and helps speed along my motions. My breasts bounce in his face the faster we go.

His kisses become sloppier and my movements becomes faster as we both reach our highs and come at the same time.

I climb back over to the driver's seat and slip back into my clothes. He watches me intently.

"I love you."

"I love you."