Chapter 80

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Hello, happy June (AKA: summer) !! 

I am happy to be back and I hope there are still some people invested in this story. We're almost at 100k reads and I'm so close to 100 followers! Thank you all so much for reading, voting and commenting. I love writing this for you. :) 

Now, what you came here for... a new chapter!

–Queen <3

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I smile when the first thing I see the next morning is the sunshine from my window creeping through the curtains and onto Mitch's face. It highlights his beautiful, peaceful features and my heart skips a beat. Well, at least it's still beating. For a moment there I thought I was surely dead; Mitch looking like an angel coupled with the level of comfort I felt making me genuinely wonder if I had died and was in heaven. 

I am so lucky. Last night was incredible and I am so happy that Mitch stayed and slept in my bed when he very well could have gone home. It proved that he loved the sex as much as I did and felt the same passion that I felt. I let out a massive happy sigh and shut my eyes again, not wanting this moment to end. 

Eventually, I remembered that Mitch and I both have to work today, so I reluctantly check the clock on my bedside table, knowing that once I looked that would mean that this all ends. I would have to wake Mitch and he would have to peel away from where he was snuggled up against my chest. Our nude bodies would no longer be touching beneath my duvets. We would both need to go wash off the wild, passionate aftermath that currently stained us. 

And what I'm dreading the most is having a talk about last night and... just, everything. What if Mitch has regrets about it all? I already know, after waking up feeling the way I feel, that I don't have a single regret and would give anything to have an unlimited amount of more nights with Mitch and be able to wake up in each other's arms every morning for the rest of our lives. I love him. So much that I can't picture my life without him. 

I have no idea how I ever let go of him. Or why I let go of him.

 I was a fucking fool. A childish, douchey, naive, fucking fool.  

All I know is that now I'm never letting go of him ever again. I'm going to hold onto him forever. All of him; the good, the bad and the beautiful. 

I know he has imperfections, but I love them. Mitch was Mitch because of his imperfections, and loving Mitch meant also loving his imperfections. 

"I'm going to hold onto this boy forever." I say to my brain, making a mental note to myself before wrapping my arms around my boy, hugging him closely and tightly against my torso. I also wrap my legs around his, clenching slightly.  

He stirs in my arms and I don't let go.

 "Wha?" He asks groggily, slowly squinting his eyes open.  

"Good morning. How did you sleep? How do you feel? Do you want me to run you a bath? Genevieve is making breakfast and you've gotta catch your flight to Sacramento in a few hours for your photoshoot, so that's why I woke you."

He groans, sitting up and checking my alarm clock. "Scott, it's way too early for this. Would you please slow down?"

My face heats up. I always get awkward after sex, I never know what to say the next morning and it gives me so much anxiety. With Mitch it was 10 times worse than normal, granted I didn't want to fuck this up. 

"Sorry, I uh... Last night was kind of crazy." I chuckle nervously. "How... was it?"

"Really?" Mitch smirks. "You are the one being shy? This is new."

"Can you just stop torturing me already and tell me how you're feeling?" I sigh.

Mitch places his soft hand to rest on my stomach, where his thumb caresses the skin above my belly button. "Relax. Last night was perfect, and it will be nice to actually have good memories of sleeping together."

I blush, embarrassed that he brought up our first time sleeping together, considering I left him the next day and messed with his emotions. 

"What?" he questions, moving his hand to play in my messy hair. "What's wrong? You look like you have something to say."

I try to speak, but suddenly my mouth is very dry and I feel dizzy. Looking up at Mitch leaning over me from where I lay literally had me speechless.

He was right though, I did have something to say. I just couldn't find the right way to say it. I could hardly form my thoughts, let alone a sentence. 

"Just say it, I won't judge you or get mad. Wouldn't be the first time a man didn't give me 10 stars after sex." He laughs. "Seriously, I like getting critiqued. It'slike  if I had broccoli in my teeth, I would want someone to tell m-"

"-Be quiet," I command, sitting up and cupping Mitch's angelic face in my hand. "I love you, and I don't just mean I love you. I'm in love with you." 

With every word I utter I study his facial reaction intensely. He looks shocked, confused and in disbelief within the span of a mere second. I also sensed a bit of sadness, but I hoped so badly that it was all in my head. Everything went foggy as soon as the word "love" escaped my lips. 

I don't know how long it took for him to respond, but as he did my heart beat out of my chest. 

He said something along the lines of "Don't be ridiculous", but I could hardly make it out over the sound of my heart beating through my ears. 

I understood his face though, and when he began to laugh everything went into slow-motion. I felt hot tears sting my eyes, which I would have normally held inside when in the presence of another person. However, I had already allowed myself to be so vulnerable and at that moment I let everything out.

Mitch was speaking, but I didn't hear a word he said. I vaguely felt his fingers wipe at my tears, but I quickly pushed him away once I realized what was happening. 

He looked taken aback, the slightest hint of wetness glazing his own pupils. "Scott, I'm sorry, but we just can't do this. You're my best friend and this was just a one-time thing to ease the tension between us."

I felt sick to my stomach.

"Plus, I wasn't really thinking clearly... after everything with Kyle I just needed a release, and you were there and willing. I– I didn't think you actually felt anything. It's been so long and we've both been dating other people. Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

And in that split second, my sickness was replaced with rage. "Tell you sooner? Excuse me?" I challenge. "Who do you think you are? Better yet, who are you? Because the Mitch I know and fell in love with wasn't a slut and didn't go around sleeping with people he didn't at least have feelings for."

I regretted what I said immediately when Mitch turned his face away from me, wiping tears from his face. I felt guilty but at the same time a little pleased to see him upset as well. 

He hopped off of the bed, quickly picking up his clothes from the floor and slipping them on. 

After a moment of me just watching him dress, he cleared his throat. "Thanks for last night, Scott. It was perfect. But, once again, you always have to go and fuck shit up the next morning, don't you? Once you learn to man up and grow a pair, you can call me and apologize. I will not be your bitch and tolerate being slut-shamed, because the boy that I once loved would never have called me a slut. Looks like we've both changed, haven't we? Goodbye."

I sit in shock, unable to speak, and my bedroom door slams shut a few seconds later as Mitch furiously exits. 

Funny how not even 10 minutes ago I was so anxiously focused on not making a disaster out of this morning, yet that's exactly what it became: A fucking disaster. 

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