Maybe I'm overthinking things. Maybe he meant it as a friend. He certainly couldn't have meant it like as a lover. Despite me telling myself that he doesn't mean it, it's the only thing I think about all day at school. Nothing makes sense anymore, the teachers sound like they came straight out of a Charlie Brown episode and the student sound like thunder during a storm. During lunch, the storm gets worse, but despite the thunder roaring and crashing, I can hear Jeremy crystal clear.
His big goofy smile still greeting me at our table. He's signature catch phrase "What's goodie in the hoodie" is still the first thing to come out of his mouth when I sit down. I tell him about my day, he tells me about his. No one brings up what had happened last night. And we definitely don't talk about what he said to me.
Which makes me a little upset. I mean, did it mean nothing to him? He said he loved me. Does he remember? I mean, he was pretty tired. But what about the cuddling? No way he forgot about that.
I live by a quote: Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
Okay, so what's the best? Well, it would be if he did mean it like that and we become a couple and we grow up and get married and adopt a child and a dog and we'll be one big happy family. Yeah, I can hope for that.
Okay, now what's the worst? This is the one I usually have trouble with. Okay, what's the absolute worst thing that could happen? Well, I could confess my love for him because I think he likes me back, and he'll be embarrassed and stop hanging out with me and I'll be the laughing stock of the whole school. Yeah, that seems about right.
So I just have to not do that. Sounds easy enough, I mean, I wasn't planning on confessing anytime soon. Or at all, for that matter.
But what about the best? I mean, I would have to confess in order for the best to happen, right? Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Should I?
Butterflies begin to fill my stomach, fluttering around, mocking me. Butterflies are bitches. I learned that a long time ago.
"Soooooo," He begins, looking away, a huge smile plastered on his face, "You never told me.."
"Told you what?" I start to lean away from him, already knowing the answer to his question.
"Come on," he lightly punches my arm,
"Jeremy, I don't want to talk about it," I push his face away but he resists and puts my arm back down so he's all up in my face again.
"Dude! Please! I promise I won't judge!" He pleads. Pfft, ya right.
"If you don't say anything I'm going to assume it's Rich," he tells me, giving me a frustrated and desperate look.
"Go ahead, I'm not telling you," I look away from him, totally done with this conversation.
"MICHAEL LIKES RICH!" Jeremy screams out, pointing at me. All eyes landing on us.
"DUDE SHUT UP WHAT THE FUCK!" I immediately throw my hand over his mouth before he can say anymore. I hear his muffled screams, trying to announce the 'news' to everyone. I give everyone an awkward smile.
"HE WAS JUST JOKING, IT WAS A DARE FROM ONE OF OUR OTHER FRIENDS!" I assure everyone. Rich is already dating Jake, no way was I crushing on him. Jake would beat the shit out of me and let Rich watch with popcorn and a soda. We're very good friends if you couldn't tell by that statement.
"Great, now Jake's going to kill me," I slowly remove my hand from his mouth.
"Awww, come on, I'll tell him it was a joke," he smirked. As if on cue, I see Jake and Rich walk up to our table from the corner of my eye. I gulp.
"So, that was an interesting announcement," Jake smiled at me, I weakly smiled back. I guess the storm doesn't block out Jake either.
"The bells about to ring," Jeremy states, beginning to pack up.
"Dude, it was a joke, I swear, I'm like, your best friend, I would never do that to you,"
"Okay, first of all, I have plenty of friends, and second, I know it was a joke, because if it wasn't then Jeremy wouldn't have said anything." He sat down next to me, Rich sitting next to Jake.
"Tho- Th- So, why'd you say it?" Rich asked, (guess the he's not part of the storm either) struggling to correct his lisp. We've told him on multiple occasions that his lisp was fine and wasn't something he should hide, but he insisted that he correct himself.
Jeremy's smirk grew, "Michael has a crush on someone, but he won't tell me."
I couldn't read Jake's facial expression, but he looked at me, then Jeremy, then me again, then back to Jeremy, then landing back on me. I could tell what he was silently asking me, and I couldn't help but give him a subtle nod.
"Well, that's his business, anyway, we better start heading to class," he flung his backpack over his shoulder and got up, Rich following behind him.
"Wait- he kNOWS!" Jeremy shouted at me, flinging his backpack over his shoulder.
"Gotta head to class, see you tomorrow!" I smiled at him and walked away. Hearing him yell my name a couple times before groaning and walking the opposite way.