Letting in Light ✔️ [Completed] [Book two]

Chapter 50

The lift doors of my office building fly open with a familiar ping. I feel as though I should be comforted by the sound that I've heard thousands of times, but today it only adds to my anxiety.

Although my mind wants to get this stupid welfare meeting over with, my body has other ideas. I stand frozen to the spot in the lobby, just staring at the open lift.

Ben swiftly steps passed me in his black tailored suit to press the hold lift button. "Are you coming?" He asks cautiously, his eyes appraising my faltering expression.

"Just give me a minute." I reply quickly before turning away. My high heels click on the grey marble as I walk over to some of the seats dotted around the huge reception area of the building.

I sit down heavily with Ben only a second behind me. He pulls the chair opposite closer so no one around can hear our conversation. "Why are you here?" He asks me bluntly. His head cocks to the side in readiness for my answer.

"You wouldn't understand Ben, I don't think I do either." I look up at the ceiling for some divine inspiration, but nothing materialises. So, instead I'm left to ramble through my incoherent thought process just like I did to Daniel in the early hours of this morning. "My job is something that is mine. It doesn't involve Daniel, my friends, my family, Ed or Fay. I made this happen... on my own, and just giving it up without a fight would feel like I'm giving part of myself away." I bite my lip, not sure if I'm even making sense. "Do you understand that? I love my job. I guess...  how well I did was how I defined myself after Ed and before I met Daniel... something that was actually good in my life through all the darkness." I feel my eyes begin to glisten with emotion at the memory of the person I was, so I furiously blink away the tears before they fall. "Then once I met Daniel and my entire world flipped on its axis, my job was my constant among all the chaos."

Ben looks totally bewildered by my emotional dump on him. I can practically see the cogs turning furiously trying to work through what I have said. I can't help but feel sorry for the guy. "I've never met anyone like you." He shakes his head with an exasperated expression. "You totally baffle me."

I sit back in my chair, completely confused by what the hell he means. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"I'm not sure! I just know that the majority of other women in your shoes would have quit their jobs, home... their lives once they had Daniel. He can provide a lifestyle that most of us can only dream about. But, not you! Instead, you carry on working full time, living in the same little flat, buying the same normal stuff and only booking normal leave from work." He laughs loudly, making me jump. "Somehow, you and Daniel made it work. But, then shit got bad which was out of your control." His tone suddenly becomes more serious. "You still didn't quit your job or change your routine.  Then you were nearly murdered, but your still sitting here about to face that slimy mother fucker to see whether you're ready to go back to work!"

I snort audibly in surprised laughter. "Sounds insane when you put it like that."

"Daniel has told you to quit! Your parents have told you quit! Your friends have told you to quit! I have to say, I agree with them. You don't need this shit after everything you've been through... working for him? It's only a matter of time until that prick puts his hands on you. Then, I can't promise I won't rip his head off, let alone what Daniel will do to him! I'll ask again... what are you doing here?"

"I just can't walk away, I need to see if I can still make it work here without Helen being around." I speak with more confidence than I feel.

Ben stands up, straightening his jacket. "OK. Let's get on with it shall we? You're going to be late for the meeting, and you don't want that tosser using it against you."