「Entropy」

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I see them,
disappearing
one
by
one

Drifting far across the distance,
blending with a hand full of air in the atmosphere,
that my lungs can't take in
parting a separate way
anywhere but away from me
long are they gone
before it hits me, my instinct
to save her, save him
but the pain, it remains
in every nerve fibre,
in every blood cells,
with deep stains
I pray, it didn't hurt
even to do so, I'm wronged

Dear death, you're so cruel
all of it,
it should have been me
I should have been the one first on the list
but you took them
leaving to my disdain

Then I met you betwixt these
and I'm glad I did
I thought I was living,
filling the pages of mine
swiftly and steadily, holding the grip
not knowing it'll last just for another bit
I was afraid to choose my happiness over this life
I was afraid if things would squint apart from the rights
and there was you,
you made me believe death has been cheating on us,
It is certain but the time isn't;
I want to take it, of the little I've got
This cf is taking everything from us,
every single person I love
now is the time I live for my own
just when I wished it was with you
you broke the rules

- STELLA

Life had to be poetic
like I planned it to be
hospitals from hospitals
and my mother
all of it is sick
I swear I'm getting out of this
in 2 weeks I turn eighteen

I am afraid not of dying
but not living before I'm dying
their regimens and treatments,
these are good for nothing

Cepacia, you're the worst
with you I lost all,
this life is short
Shorter is my hope

Amongst the Cevaflomalin in Grace's
I address you,
you who is diferent, different
from all those people I've met before
you're beautiful, strong and brave
from all the times I've seen you
six feet apart six feet-
the distance you shortened with a pool cue
We're "Five Feet Apart"

My cartoons made most of the days
now, it's filled with all your sketches
our deal with you getting me do my regimens and I get to draw you,
your face, so flawless
was a mere chance I got
and how it all started

Standing by, breathing softly and staring right into each others eyes
was all I could do,
we could do,
the thought of getting even an inch closer
and I hurt the love of my life is too much
ending both of us,

Never had I believed in those movies when they said, you have to fall in love deep enough to let them go,
I get it why,
they said so
seeing you withering,
helpless, not willing to fight
is something I can't afford
I'm sorry for breaking the rules
I'm not someone you should look upto
I can't stay,
I have to leave,
I want you, to live Stella.

-WILL


_______________________________________

-FIVE FEET APART, from the book

-currently listening, "Don't Give Up On Me", Andy Grammer.

-entropy (uncountable) The tendency of a system that is left to itself to descend into chaos.

Synonyms
anergy (pathology) Deficiency of energy.

Synonymsanergy (pathology) Deficiency of energy

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