Promises to Keep

say yes

"Must you go over the top with everything?" Jamie asked, though he found it sweet. He wasn't willing to put himself through so much anguish for anyone else but Tayla.

"Yes, I must" Tyler near snapped, but refrained. "After everything I did-"

"I need to stop you there" Katie blurted out, taking a stand. Over the past few months she had really gotten to know Tayla on a whole other level. When everything had transpired with Jason's confession, and the discovering of what Tyler had done, it had had a profound effect on not only Tayla, but on everyone around her. The pair were miserable for weeks, causing strain on friendships, among other things.

It had taken Tayla awhile to forgive Tyler, but ultimately, she had decided it was what she wanted. Though what Tyler did was incredibly stupid and selfish, among other things, she wanted to look past it. Everything Tyler ever did was for his own happiness, though katie nor Justin could deny the happiness Tayla experienced while being with Tyler.

She was afraid of getting hurt, but Tayla knew it wasn't something tha was going to happen again. He was sorry, and continued to try and make it up to her.  It between Katie and Tayla, he was taking it too far.

"You need to stop circling back to this" Katie told him sternly.

"Circling back to...?" Tyler asked, not catching where Katie was going with this.

"We all know what you did. It was incredibly shitty, and you completely should have just told her how you felt before any of this happened. But let's not pretend you guys probably would have ended up together anyway, at some point in your lives." Katie began her long speech. She had been holding this in for too long. She grew tired of hearing about how Tyler needed to do extra special things for Tayla to 'make it up to her'.

"There's no making it up to her, it's got to stop" she told him, feeling a slight anger towards him. "You did what you did, she's accepted it and is moving past it, it's time you do too"

"I- I am past it" Tyler defended, caught off guard by Katie's aggressive attitude.

"No, you're not" Katie snapped, and Jamie nodded, agreeing with his girlfriend.

"She's right dude, you're not over it" he frowned, seeing Tyler's face turn from confusion to sadness. "You're more hung up on it than she is, I'm pretty sure" he added, and this time it was time for Katie to nod.

"He's right, you can't forgive yourself even after she has forgiven you... why?" Katie asked, dying to know the answer. It had bothered Tayla too; they often talked about it. She would notice a shift in his behaviour, and just knew the reason why. But,because it wasn't something she wanted to relive, she never brought it up.

"I..." Tyler trailed off, at a loss for words. He took a seat, running his hand through his hair, resting it on the back of his head as he immersed himself into deep thought. Why couldn't he forgive himself? He always felt the need to make everything perfect, or over the top for Tayla, to try and make up for what he did.

"I have a theory" Katie sat beside him, her anger subsiding. "You keep feeling the need t9 make it up to her, because you don't want her to leave. You're terrified of that one day, she might get up and realize she never should have forgiven you in the first place, and leave. Is that fair to say?" Katie asked, and Tyler nodded meekly.

"Right. So in your mind, if you don't do these extravagant things, she's somehow not going  to be happy, or she's going to develop a resentment towards you." Katie was hitting the nail on the head, so to speak. "But Ty, if you keep being hung up on this, maybe then she might to do the same"

"She doesn't think about it now. Well, that's not fair to say" Katie began, but corrected herself. "It pops into her mind every time you do something extremely unnecessary. When you go over the top, she knows why you do"

"She does?" Tyler asked, his voice cracking.

"Don't get me wrong- romantic gestures are great; but they do t have to be as perfect or as extreme as you think they do. Every time it doesn't go entirely as planned, she can tell" Katie told him, feeling bad for beginning her rant off so harshly.

"What? How does she know?" Tyler asked, slightly taken aback.

"She knows you better than you give her credit for I guess" Katie informed him, and he sort of shrugged it off. "How can you expect her to forgive you for something you can so obviously not forgive yourself for?"

Tyler sat on the thought for a moment.

"What I did was terrible, I know that" he began, unsure of where he was going with this. "I feel sick to my stomach when I think about how much hurt, sadness, anger, and anguish I caused her. I can't explain to you why I can't forgive myself, I just can't" he huffed. "I lost her once, I don't want it to happen again. And now, with a baby on the way, not only would I lose her, but I'd lose him too... I don't know if I could handle losing either of them" he confessed, tears threatening to leak down his cheeks.

"Tyler, she loves you" Jamie reminded his friend, feeling terrible.

"And she would never leave you. If she had wanted to leave you, she would not have come back" Katie tried to remind him. "She read your texts every day. She continuously asked Jamie or I about you, and she was genuinely miserable without you. She doesn't want to lose you any more than you don't want to lose her. I don't think you realize that she loves you just as much as you love her. I think you need to keep reminding yourself that"

"I guess I don't really think about any of that..." he trailed off softly.

"Exactly. You both are crazy in love, and are about to become a family. I know you want this proposal t go over perfectly, but just think about something. Think about your love for her, and what she would want. You know something crazy is not what she would  want. You know what she would want" Katie reminded him, and Tyler smiled.

"You just need to get on the road to forgiving yourself. I think once you do that, the both of you will be a lot better off" Jamie interjected, and Tyler nodded, feeling a lot better about himself.

"You're right" Tyler finally sighed.

"I usually am" Katie smirked, trying to lighten the mood. "But we all know wha you have to do" she added more seriously. Tyler nodded, getting up from his chair.

"I know" Tyler smiled, feeling a surge of confidence run through him.