I met him at my darkest moment. He was the knight that rode in and saved me from the burning castle around me. He was the man that saved me from my biggest enemy- myself. How could a man made of such strength take the time out of his day to save me, I still didn't have an answer for. But that was exactly what he did- he saved me, and now I was indebted to him; with courage we tackled each problem and with conflict we loved.
Our love was a passion of the senses, it was what everyone would measure to- him and I, were entangled, intertwined and forever together.
My darkest thought, he knew it.
My darkest desire, he shared it.
Together we were a nightmare in a painting; one that to the common eye you couldn't see the beauty in. But if you looked closer, you would see the love that was shared between us; and that love; bound us- together we were a beautiful disaster. As powerful as a hurricane, as passionate as a flaring fire, as emotional as a world spinning tornado and as fluent as a flood. Together we completed each other. Forever ingrained in each other.
He was my happy ending until the day I discovered that the man I loved. The man that shared my soul. The man that completed me. Was led to another, not by choice but by commitment- commitment to withhold his empire- his club- his families legacy.
So my black knight rode out of my life, on what happened to be a bike. The bikers curse is, he may love, but his love for freedom will always come first and what is a relationship but ties. And commitment? His love for the open road always called him, over his love for me.
I would forever love him, how could I not the man saved me from myself. But I knew the only way I could truly repay him back for what he had done for me, was to let him go; so just like the natural disaster that we were, I had to recover from it. He crashed through my walls, he burnt through my heart and he flooded my mind and body with love.
Most of me died the day he rode out of my life. But the part that lived; well that part of me gave birth to our child. A beautiful baby boy, who defined why beautiful does come from the ashes. I loved him right up to the moment my life could no longer go on. For all I saw was his father, and not having the strength to face a world solely on my own, bringing up a son to the man that had destroyed the strength in me to keep going. I took a razor to my wrist at an age where most would be celebrating a college graduation.
But I knew it then, that my son had the strength of a lion- and he would be everything that his father and I weren't. But in some ways he would love as freely, live as passionately and fight with conviction.
He would be the beauty that comes after a disaster. After all he came after our disaster. Our love created him, our blood would define his decisions. He would lead the loss. He would be the future of that club, that his father rode for. That legacy that his father was trying to create, would be defined by our son- we just didn't know it at the time. But within all madness there is sense, and our sense was our son- Zeke. However blindness would led to both his parents leaving him out of heart ache.
While I left him physically his father would leave him emotionally. Some roads are made to be walked alone and in this case, Zeke's path in life, wasn't to be accompanied by either parent.
The universe is as complex as it is marvelling. There is always a reason for every move. So we go through life blind, making decisions, leading to consequences and in the end, all we are to know is, that in some twisted and truly weird way- it all makes sense. Like I said, there is sense to the madness but to an untrained eye; madness is all that is seen. The love, the passion is spread through out it. But could my son ever open his heart to a woman, when he questioned if he had been given a heart to begin with? Could the man I know he would be, step up to meeting demands of a lifestyle he could barely stand; knowing it costed him his parents?
Would he ever trust? Could he trust? But more importantly could he love to the extend of the type of love he was created out of?
This is Zeke's Story. Expect to burn through you and for you to be left....