one hundred

32 2 3

chapter 100
"you make me fall apart"

oh my god.

how your words
still make me tremble

i wonder
if you have any idea

how much you
make me cry

and oh my god
how your wording

traps me

i stand there in fear
of losing you
again

and i am still waiting
for you to come back

cause part of you
is still gone

and i am scared
of the fact

that my baby
is gone

and i will never
accept that

because i promised myself
you would be different.

so when you talk to me
now the air has changed

and i choke on my words
because you rob me

of the idea of you
over and over again

i shake
in paranoia

for saying i love you
i ruined things
for us

oh my god
don't you see

i fall apart
when i think of you

and every time
you step closer to me

my heart
beats faster

in ecstasy
i smile

cause i see your face
a complexion of familiarity

and when you are
eye to eye
with me

i cry

cause i see your soul
a concoction of misery

and you are
making me so fragile

an energy
vampire

i step back.

i am no longer
what you desire.

-a.m {30 march 2019}

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