#SOTUS Continued: Book One A PremWad Tale

Things Just Creep Into My Life

Prem's POV

"No! Stop! SSTTTOOOPPPP!" Wad screams in his sleep and begins to whimper.

Wad's thrashing had woke me up earlier. I knew what was coming. This has happened every night since we ran into P'Dean, which is why I have been staying over since then. I can't bear thinking of him being alone with this. I reach over and pull him close. At first, he fights, but he eventually lets me pull him in. I stroke his hair, trying to calm him down. I begin to hum a song my mom used to sing to me when I had nightmares. His breathing starts to slow, and I feel his muscles relax as he falls back into a dreamless sleep. I don't know if he remembers his nightmares. He has never brought it up, and I don't want to.

Wad is now nuzzling my neck and sending a surge of blood and desire throughout my body. Before Wad had told me what happened, I was at the point of acting on my desire, but now I know I need to take this at his speed. Not mine. I don't want him to feel like he is not desirable because, to be honest, I am holding on by a very thin thread most times. And times like this make me want just to cut that thread and give in. It would be so natural to kiss him awake and drive out the nightmares that haunt him giving him dreams of him and me. But I am so afraid of breaking him more than he already is. I pull him closer and try to find sleep again.

Wad's POV

Waking, I find myself pinned to my mattress by something heavy and can't move. Panicking for a moment before I feel a warm breath fan the back of my neck, and I realize P'Prem is the one wrapped around me. I lay there enveloped by his warmth and the scent of him. I smile.

Having him here has made me feel safe, loved, and happy. I just stay there nestled up against him, not wanting this to end. Looking around my room, I smile at how his things just creep into my life, a piece at a time. His books. His clothes. His shoes. Everything is neatly sitting beside mine like they were supposed to be there.

I feel him move and roll over, allowing me to turn and look at him. Just like his things are next to mine, when did it become so natural for him to be next to me? I reach out and trace the line of his jaw. This man has made his way into my heart and my life so seamlessly. He is taking down all of my walls.

"You know you shouldn't stare at people," P'Prem cracks one eye open with a smile.

"You are not just people," I roll over to get up, embarrassed at being caught, only to have him pull me back to kiss me on my forehead. He kisses each eye and my nose before he gives me a quick kiss on the lips. I know I am blushing from it.

"You shower first," he says as he lets go getting up. "I will go down and get breakfast." I hmm and head to the bathroom.

I wish he would go farther than simple kisses somedays. But I catch my reflection in the mirror. Tracing a line on my back, I look myself in the eye and ask myself if I am ready to go further. All the memories seeing P'Dean had stirred up will they overlap being with P'Prem? He says I am beautiful and perfect even though all I see is ugly and flawed. I want to see myself through his eyes. I want to replace every ugly memory with beautiful ones of us.

I know he wants to go farther. I can see it in his eyes when he pulls back. I think I could never love him more, and then he goes and makes me. He knows I am not ready, and instead of being demanding, he just loves and waits. I would say I don't deserve him, but I know how angry he would be even to know I thought about that. My life has been so shattered since my dad left and P'Dean happened, but P'Prem has glued me back together, a piece at a time. I am beginning to feel whole for the first time in years.

I smile at myself in the mirror, something I couldn't have done before P'Prem. I couldn't even look at myself before him. I step in the shower, smiling, knowing he will be there when I get out.