Chapter 42

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-the next day-
I reach for Abel who should be lying next to me but don't find him causing me to frown, "Abel?" I call out for him with no answer. I sigh and roll over, why'd he leave? I question closing my eyes, because he doesn't love you. The voice said, the voice was new, a few years into me living in Nevada. He does, shut up. I tell myself as I get up seeing that I'm in my sleeping clothes, "Abel?" I say again going towards the bathroom. I go to the door and knock on the door, no one answers. I go in and piss then take a shower getting out and getting dressed, Abel doesn't love you he doesn't want you he wants Bella, Bella is better for him then you you stupid dumb whore, "shut up! Leave me alone get out!" I scream, "Lizzy!" I hear my sister say as she came upstairs and hug me, "what happened are you okay?!" She says holding my arms tightly, I don't respond just hugging her and crying into her shoulder, "Lizzy, i-its okay, I'm here Lizzy." "y-youll think I'm crazy..." I say to her looking away, "no Carmen I won't you're my sister, I care about you." She says giving me a reassuring smile, "i-I hear voices Chuck." I tell her, "oh my god, what do they tell you?" She asks, "bad stuff Chuck, to kill myself and that one loves me." "You know they're lying though right?" she asks me, "it's getting harder to..." I say crying still, "it's going to be okay." Chuck says hugging me, "what happened to you last night?" I ask her, "don't worry about it Lizzy, just worry about yourself-" "no stop, what happened to you." I say my crying subsiding, "I just went out..." she says, "come on chuck don't give me that shit." I say to her. She gets up and goes to the door, "chuck, you're fucking using aren't you?!" I say to her. "Chuck!" I yell at her as we walk downstairs, "leave me the fuck alone!" She yells back. I look at my litter sister and see I probably fucked up her life, "I-I'm so sorry..." I say to her sadly as I look at her, "You're so fucked up Lizzy, you need fucking help!" Chuck yells at me as she leaves. I collapse in the floor and cry, it's your fault Carmen, the voice says to me. No one loves you, just end it." The voice says. I feel tears run down my cheeks but wipe them away, "n-no." I say getting up and going to my music room. I begin to write and write out a new song called honeymoon. -A few hours later-
I'm still writing but I feel better dispight writing sad music, music always made me feel better, made the voice go away for a while. I hear the door open and footsteps come into the house, "who is it?" I call out. Chuck soon comes into the Room and looks at me, "oh it's you..." I say sighing, "hey..." Chuck says remorsefully, "what do you want?" I mumbled, "Lizzy, I'm so sorry..." she says, "i-i know you care about me, I know you're just trying to protect me I'm sorry." she says looking away from me and beginning to cry, "hey, stop." I say getting up and hugging her, "I was so mean to you Carmen i-" "it's alright Chuck..." I say to her, "i-i should've stayed home to help you." She says, "I knew you were upset, i-im so sorry Lizzy!" She says now beginning to sob, "Chuck I-" I reach for her but my hand goes through her, "what..?" I mumble in confusion feeling fear shoot through my body, I turn to see myself slumped over my desk a bottle of sleeping pills next to me, "C-Chuck no! I'm right next to you! I'm right here!" I say grabbing at her only to go through her, I feel my own tears break away and begin to stream down my face, "C-Chuck!" I yell through my tears, "no Chuck please!" I yell at her as I wake up coming face to face with her, "Lizzy..?" she says utterly confused. I grab her arms to make sure she was real, "c-chuck oh my god thank god it's you!" I hug her and begin to cry into her shirt. "You're okay right?" She asks me, "i-i don't know-" I say to her, "Lizzy I'm sorry, I love you and I know you were trying to look out for me." I nod and hug her again, "thank you Chuck." I say to her giving her a small smile while I wipe away my tears, "w-when did you get back?" I ask her, "I don't know about an hour ago, I saw you sleeping and didn't want you to wake you up." She says to me, "then I heard you calling for me and I woke you up." She explains as she stands up, "do you actually know where Abel went?" I ask her, "no I think he went back to his house last night." Chuck says, "oh..." I say sadly, "you know he'd stay if he could..." Chuck says to me. I nod and she smiles, "I'm gonna go watch TV." Chuck says giving my shoulder a small pat before leaving. I take out my phone and text Abel, "hey, what's up?"
A-I'm with Bella
I sigh,
L- oh sorry...
A- no it's fine, I like it when u text me 😉
L- glad I could help then...
A- I miss u lizzy
L- you just saw me lol
A- I know but...
L- you wanna meet up or something?
A- yeah
L- okay where?
A- My house wensday, Bella's going away for the weekend... 😉
L- can't wait 😘

I smile excited for tomorrow.

Carmen | Lana Del Rey x The Weekend |Read this story for FREE!