Could You Love This?

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He was alive.

He was in a coma, but he was alive.

It was almost a whole day before I fell asleep. They got him out of surgery was around 12:00 at night, they concluded it was a coma around 12:30. So I couldn't visit until 1:30. At night.

Knowing I'd take forever visiting, I let others go first. I went in around midnight.

He seemed so at peace. So relaxed. It was almost nice.

Until I remember he was here because he tried to kill himself and this isn't how he wanted it to turn out.

I was talking about a lot of things when I finally got to visit, even though I doubt he can hear anything. If he can, he won't process it because he's in a coma. It's just kind of how it works. But I've had a lot time to think and do nothing but think today.

Somehow I talked myself to sleep. We don't know how.


We came as soon as we heard what happened. Piper told me, she heard from Annabeth, I told Leo, Hazel, and Frank, and we headed to Camp Half Blood.

The five of us got there the morning after he got out of surgery. We went to the infirmary and Will walked us.

"I don't think there's anyone visiting, but I also just got here after breakfast." The son of Apollo reasoned. "I know Percy isn't here, he's probably still sleeping. They flew in at like 7 AM yesterday. Visiting didn't open until around 1 last night so everyone was up late."

"Damn," Leo remarked. "Do we know what happened or...?"

"Eh... Nico does, but I would wait before I'd ask." Will suggested. "I'm assuming he knows. He brought Grover here, I think. I wasn't in the lobby when they got him, but Nico was the only person here that wasn't a patient."

"Makes sense." I remarked and sighed. "He's not on like, hospis though, right?"

"No!" The son of Apollo assured as we got to the room. "He's in a coma, but his stats are at a normal level for being in a coma. I don't think it'll last longer than two weeks. Most comas like this last 5-10 days."

He opened the door for us on that note, this being day two, and he did have a visitor.

That visitor had fallen asleep. But he had one.

While Grover is in bed, taking a nap that I wish I could be having without it being considered a coma, Nico was there. Of course he was in the chair next to the bed. One of them, the closest one. But he was there, curled up in the chair, sleeping.

You could tell that he had been crying. It was about 6:30, which means that he's only been asleep for like 5 hours.

And he probably didn't sleep at all yesterday.


I slept through most of the day. I woke up like right before dinner, mainly because Percy woke me up.

Feeling somebody shake my arm, I groaned and shifted a little, opening one eye. I saw the son of Poseidon. Looked a little worried.

"Hm?" I asked, not wanting to hear it if it isn't Grover waking up.

"You slept through the entire day." Percy told me, handing me a plate of food. It wasn't a ton. But a decent portion. "I figured you'd be hungry. I don't care if you go right back to bed, but eat something."

"Oh, uh, thanks..." I said as I sat up and took the plate and fork. It was chicken parm, which I was more than fine with. "I don't think I fell asleep until like 3, so. I don't actually know what time it was, though, either. I just went from talking to sleeping. What uh... How are you doing? Luke said you really freaked out when I talked to him last night when you were visiting, I was too out of it to notice how anyone else was."

"Better, now that I'll know he'll live." Percy assured me. "But he's right, I did freak out. I started to lose it at the airport because it kind of hit me that I could lose my best friend before I even got there or if I'm here because he never messaged me and I wasn't there and yeah. A lot of guilt."

"Yeah, no kidding." I responded, taking another bite of chicken. "Um... Yeah, a lot of guilt."

"Did he just show up at your cabin because he was bleeding or...?" He asked, confused.

I shook my head.

"I stayed at his cabin because he wasn't feeling the best." I explained to my crush's best friend. My former crush. "and he woke up probably around 1 and he was having some sort of an attack, and it's hard to comfort someone when you can't touch them. He must've tuned me out or something, I don't know, but he just got up and went to the bathroom and I saw what he was doing so I went over and grabbed him and tried to talk him down but... He ripped through my grip and cut himself just right and..."

For a second I stopped, because I hate this more than anything. I hate feeling like it's my fault. Like I could've stopped him.

Because I probably could've. I could've taken him into his room again and locked the bathroom. Something.

But I didn't and now he's in a coma and it hurts to feel this from him and me.

"Hey, it's okay." But Percy knows that feeling, he knows what to tell me. "You couldn't have stopped it, Nico. Delayed it, probably. But you already did by staying there. He would have gone back and tried again, you know that just as well as I do."

He stopped again.

"He's going to be okay." The son of Poseidon promised me. "I got a really good job offer here this morning that I'm going to take, Luke and I talked about it already. We haven't signed the contract for our house yet, so. We're going to look around tomorrow for houses in the area. I'm going to make sure he's okay. I lost one person to suicide, I'm not going to lose another."

I thought about that for a minute. A person... That's a weird consideration for suicide.

"I don't know if I would count Luke as suicide." I remarked. "Especially since he's back."

"Yeah, no, I don't count Luke." He assured me. "It was an older sibling, way before I knew you. Before I knew Grover. So I've moved on, don't worry, but I just... I didn't understand how he died, just that he was dead. Watching my mom go through that... I can't."

"You had another brother?" I asked.

Percy nodded his head.

"Yeah, he was like two and a half years older. Three grades." The son of Poseidon explained. "His dad... Might have been my dad, but I don't know and if it is, he came with a different name. They dated for a long time and he was around for a while with my brother apparently. But one day he had to leave and a year or so later she met my dad and yeah. We fought all the time. Over the dumbest stuff, of course. I wanted to be better than him at everything and it annoyed the hell out of him. I'm pretty sure it was because he had a boyfriend who ended up not actually liking him and kids at school... I just overheard a lot of it. That's why I was weird with coming out."

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