Chapter 15- Invulnerability

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In one of the romance novels Clarke used to read on the Ark, someone would have knocked on the door, or interrupted their kiss. But the funny thing is, in real life, people have things to do and don't bother other people who they trust. Somehow Clarke can carry on with the kiss, even when she knows that the woman Bellamy is with is just outside this door. She remembers Finn and Raven, how hurt she was. But Bellamy drowns out that feeling. And the guilt comes with that drowning. The inescapable guilt that, once again, she is doing something wrong.

She pulls away finally, feeling her face heating up with the embarrassment of Bellamy's stare.

"How was your talk with Octavia?" Clarke asks as she straightens out the wrinkles in her shirt and flattening her hair.

Bellamy sighs, taking a small step away from her. "She's stubborn. And she wanted to see Madi. I wouldn't let her, as you can guess."

Clarke shudders. "Why does she want to see Madi?"

Bellamy shakes his head. "I'm not sure. But I told her to stay away, but I'm worried she'll talk to Russell which I'm sure she will. And it'll disturb the peace."

"What peace, Bellamy?" Clarke asks. "There is no peace. You admitted to me that as soon as everything is in order, that we're going to leave and make a place of our own, for our people."

"I know."

"And if we don't, then hundreds of people are going to be forced to- to do things they don't want to. I don't want to stay here. You don't want to stay here. Why don't... I know we can't break things off with Russell yet but the longer we wait, the more complicated it's going to become and the harder it will be to break it off."

He takes her hand. "It's going to be okay. We'll separate with Russell soon. As soon as we've got all of our people in check." He takes a deep sigh. "And I'll break things off with Echo too."

"Bellamy-"

"Clarke, don't say anything about that. I need to. For her feelings as well. You're right, the longer I wait to break up with her, the more it'll hurt her." He looks hesitant, and Clarke laces her fingers through his.

"It's okay to love her." She says softly. "I'm okay with you having loved another woman. And it's okay if you still love her. I get it."

He pulls her into a hug, she hesitates before hugging him back. Gently laying her arms on his back. Finally, she hears him sigh, pulling back.

"I need to go." he says, running a hand through his hair. "Russell will want to talk, I bet."

"Yeah." she agrees. She watches him leave the room. She loves him... loves him a lot. But there's just something about kissing him when she knows it's forbidden that makes it less enjoyable. Some people like the rebellious feeling of breaking the rules. Clarke is realizing that she doesn't. At least not like this. She was surrounded by delinquents for so long that that felt like the norm. She's grown used to being surrounded by rule breakers. But this just feels... wrong.

A few moments later, she walks out of the room, sitting herself right by Madi, despite the girl in question still sulking slightly.

"I love you." Clarke smiles at Madi, touching her cheek with her fingertips. Madi rolls her eyes.

"I know." She sighs. "I love you too."

They are suddenly interrupted by a yell.

"Clarke!" Her mother yells her name so loudly that Clarke shoots her feet, quickly telling Madi to stay where she is and rest before sprinting out the front door and stumbling down the steps.

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