CHAPTER 2 : COMING OUT TO LOVED ONES

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Coming out to your family or loved ones is such a bitter sweet moment. We are so scared of how our loved ones will react, But as soon as you tell them you will feel like you have won the lottery. Mixed feelings of Happiness, Release, and love all in one, that you feel as if you are on top of the world. That is however, if your family is accepting, Not every family is accepting. There are many people that refuse to change they way the were taught, and will refuse to question their ideas on LGBTQ+ people.

This is okay as well. I believe everyone is entitled to there own opinion. That being said, I also strongly believe that a families love is unconditional. No matter what you say or do, you parents will still love you. Even if they do not accept you right away, they will eventually come around. Yes in some cases there could be some negative consequences, but time heals everything. For example, Say they force you to move out for the "choices" you've made, they still love you, It is just there way of punishing you. In this situation, they were taught that being a LGBTQ+ person is wrong. To them they believe it is a choice, as if you were stealing, or even committing murder, and they are just trying to force you into changing. Over time, they will start to miss there child, and when they realize that you are not changing, they will come back into your life.

Coming out to loved ones can be difficult. You have to plan how you are going to tell them. There are many factors to factor in when planning. The number one factor would be timing, It would not be a great idea to tell your loved ones if they are in a bad mood or stressed out. Especially if you do not believe that they will be accepting. If you decide to start small and tell only one person, I recommend telling someone that you trust. This is probably the biggest secret that you have, and it can be horrifying if they out you when you are not ready. If you decide to tell multiple loved ones at once, obviously it would be a good idea to do it when they are all in the same place with you. I say this because out of that group, there could be a person that don't agree with you, however if someone in that group accepts you they may defend you and help talk some since into them. If you were to tell them individually and someone don't agree with you, they are alone with you, thus making it easier for them to make hateful comments, Causing you to be afraid of telling anyone else. This could be a very bad situation due to the fact that if that person discourages you from telling anyone else, you may become depressed and backtrack to not accepting yourself. Also what if this stops you from coming out to the next person on your list? They could have been the one who really supports you, and is willing to fight for you.

Are you positive that you are ready to come out? Yes it is a good thing to come out to loved ones and let the world know who you are. But if you are still having trouble accepting, or are to nervous to do it, that is normal, everyone has these feelings and there are many options to help you. One of the biggest ways to get that extra boost of courage to come out is to find someone to connect with. The best way is to talk to someone in the LGBTQ+ community. Whether it be a friend, significant other, or even a stranger from a chat room. Talking to someone that truly understands what you are struggling with. I however would not recommend doing this with someone not of the LGBTQ+ community. It may not be as effective, because they do not understand what it is like to have to fight for self acceptance.

If you do not know any other LGBTQ+ people to socialize with, that's fine. Most people do not seek LGBTQ+ peers until they come out, especially with the fear of being questioned. Therefore there is still options so that you can talk to someone. There are many online chatrooms were you can socialize and make friends that are in the same situation as you. Once you make a connection with someone you will start to feel happier with yourself and have that boost of courage to come out. However if you choose to conversate with strangers on the internet, you have to be responsible. Never give anyone any personal information.

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