"Miss Anderson," a man called, "Could you please recap the paragraph we just read?"
At the sound of my name, I looked up to see my history teacher, Mr. Matthews, watching me expectantly.
All eyes were on me, so I lowered my gaze down to my textbook. Realizing that I had no idea where we were, I timidly looked back up to him. "What paragraph are we on?"
There were snickers in the background. I blushed, bringing my gaze down to my textbook again.
Mr. Matthews wasn't as amused as my fellow classmates. He raised an eyebrow at me, "Next time, I'd appreciate it if you paid attention in my class." He paused for a second before continuing. "Please stay after class. I'd like to speak to you about something."
Oohs filled the room, and I nodded, pulling my sweatshirt closer to my body. I hated attention. I wasn't used to it, my parents barely batted an eye to my direction and I'd never had any friends, and I'd always avoid participating in class.
Mr. Matthews was back lecturing us, and everyone's attention was back to him, so I did a quick scan around the room. Since I sat in the back, I had a pretty good view of the whole room.
There was still one boy watching me, and I stiffened when we made eye contact. It was Adrian Rivers, one of the school's 'untouchables'. I averted my gaze quickly and looked back down at my textbook.
From the corner of my eye, I could see Adrian still looking at me. I curled even tighter into my sweatshirt, if it was even possible, and kept my head down.
From what I knew, the untouchables were the school's royalty. The group consisted of three girls and four boys, either filthy rich or super athletic. They had all been best friends since the first grade, and they were a very tight-knit group. They never invited anyone to sit with them or added new members to their group. All of them were seniors, like me, and they practically ruled the school.
My mind drifted to the girls of their group. One girl was a cheerleader, one was captain of the soccer team, and one of them was the richest girl in the whole town. Since they were super pretty, the girls had almost every guy at our school wrapped around their fingers. They were all super athletic, beautiful, and skinny. Skinnier than you'll ever be, a voice in my head echoed, you're fat, and you'll always be.
I winced. The voice was right, I was fat and ugly, and I needed to lose weight.
"Miss Anderson," Mr. Matthew's voice boomed loudly, breaking me out of my thoughts, "Are you with us?"
I took a deep breath, "Yes."
"Then what year did the revolutionary war end?"
I gulped. Scanning my textbook, I bit my lip, "1783?"
Mr. Matthews tsked, "Is that a question or answer, Miss Anderson?"
All eyes were on me again, much to my displeasure, and I sunk back into my seat. "It's an answer, sir," I muttered back.
He gave me an unamused look before continuing his lecture. Eventually, his voice drowned out into a buzzing in the background. The bell rang a few minutes later, and everyone in the class grabbed their stuff and scurried out, ready for lunch. I picked up my backpack and slung it over my shoulder. Wincing in pain when it hit the other side of my back, I adjusted the bag and walk closer to Mr. Matthew. For some reason, I'd been getting bruises more easily, and my backpack felt heavier than before.
"Nevaeh," my teacher started, using my first name, "I've noticed that you've been... distant lately. Is everything okay?"
I nodded hastily, almost too fast, "Yeah, everything is fine. Just fine."
"You've been very pale lately, and I've noticed that when you walk, you lose balance more easily."
"I'm just tired."
He eyed me with a look of... concern? "I'm a bit worried, Nevaeh. Your grade in my class is dropping, you've been spacing out a lot more, and you look like you're sick."
"Don't worry," I assured him, "I'm fine. I just need some sleep."
"Okay, then." He didn't look like he believed me, but he didn't push on it. "Go on and have a good lunch. It'll help replenish your energy."
It'll make you gain weight, the voice had come back, if you eat, you'll be fatter than you are now.
I flinched slightly, but luckily, he didn't see it. "Yeah, I think lunch'll help," I replied, and he nodded, satisfied. It was a white lie, but I had gotten pretty good at lying about food lately. "You have a good lunch too, Mr. Matthews."
"I will, thank you."
I walked to the door and gave him a small wave. "Bye."
He half-waved back at me, "I'll see you tomorrow, Nevaeh."
As I exited the classroom, I noticed that Adrian Rivers was scrolling through his phone at the edge of the door. I furrowed my eyes, what was he even doing there?
When he saw me, he didn't say anything. He simply turned around an walked away. It was like he was waiting for me for something, but he wasn't waiting for me at the same time. I shrugged to myself, maybe he was just going to ask Mr. Matthews something but he decided to do it later.
Making it to my usual lunch spot, which was a bench outside and away from everyone, I pulled out the book I was rereading for the millionth time, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, and opened it.
After a few minutes engrossed into the book, I looked up at the smell of pizza. There was a boy across from me who was eating a slice for lunch.
Since I had started avoiding food, my senses around it had heightened. I could smell food from a mile away and whenever someone ate it or brought it around me, I was hyper-aware of it. Looking back down, I distracted myself from the scent by reading my book.
My stomach felt empty, but I didn't have an appetite. I had lost the feeling of hunger a long time ago, and besides hunger pains, I didn't even feel eating anymore. Plus, I had had half a cup of coffee in the morning, with a tablespoon of skim milk and a sugar packet, exactly sixteen calories in total. It was a treat from not eating anything the day before, and since I drank it, I couldn't have anything else today.
As I read my book, my eyes fought to stay open and the words on the papers were making me dizzy. Finally giving in, I shut my eyes. The warm breeze blowing against my face was the last thing I felt before I passed out completely.
A/N: This is my first time ever writing a story in the first person point of view, so please bear with me for the first few chapters until I get the hang of it. I wasn't planning on starting another book so soon, but this idea really stuck with me. The main character is based after someone close to me, that will remain anonymous, and this chapter is dedicated to them :) (You know who you are)
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Comment and votes always appreciated, lovelies <3
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skin and bonesTeen Fiction
❝hey, what's that?❞ ❝n-nothing.❞ ❝...is that a food diary?❞ ➵ Nevaeh Anderson has been struggling with anorexia since the beginning of the school year. She's seventeen, in 12th grade, and she aims to only eat the least amount of food...