Messin with the Law

Messin with the Law (1)

Autobiography

My story can be sad in a way. But yet it can also be a lesson to the young girls out there that will or already have the same issues as Ive had with that "tired of being single" feeling from being alone throughout all your years of middle and highschool; when your still just a very young lady. I'll ask you right now to please excuse anything I say that might offend you in any way while I speak my mind with language that you might not agree with. This is all true and nothing about it was made up in any way.... So feel free to step into my past and see what has changed me mentally, changed my frame of mind, changed my perspective on certain subjects........ Relationships. People. And of course, Reality.

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Begining of October of 2009, was one of the times in my life that I was having a total teenage meltdown. Ive never really had much self asteem and that's probably my depression's fault. Sophomore year in highschool I had enough of being single, unwanted, and being called beautiful by just my mother.

To go through six, seventh, eighth, nineth grade, hell, maybe even fifth grade, single and hating it, was pointless. Fifth grade and the years before that were all about crushes and "cooties". It was all innocent in Elementary school. But going into Middle school.... Holy crap. Apparently sixth grade is a magic wand that taps you on the head, granting you the grown up abilities of using profanity as if it made you look cool, and getting balls to go out with someone and actually brag about how you "made out" for "hours" to everyone. Ya, back then making out was like "Oh my gawd.. you made out with (hot guys name) ?! Ugh, your so lucky!" Looking back, it makes me laugh.

All throughout Middle school I would see couples holding hands, getting close with eachother, and kissing. I would always think to myself... Im never going to have a guy like THIS, (refering to my chubby cheeked face and big body). I remember kids, mostly guys, would say really hurtful things to me about my acne condition or weight problem. None of us middle schoolers understood that it was natural. It was called PUBERTY. God! If only there was the ability to go back and rephrase what I would say to there rude comments, because of course NOW I have the knowledge of what i should have done. But "boys will be boys" I wouldn't blame them anyways, If i was a guy, I wouldn't go after a girl with the body and face I had back then. I probably wasn't the only girl at the school feeling like this. Of course in the normal, plain, clean, and wholesome female eyes almost all of those girlfriends were really pretty faced with a slutty wardrobe and no self respect whatsoever. But in the male eyes these girls were gifted with curves that could kill, they were sexy as hell and looked like a good fuck. Well I wanted that too. At the small high school I was going to, the guy department was almost non existent. And if there were any of them, they weren't interested... ok maybe two guys, but both of them weren't into making it "official" around school.

It all started with a day after school, on the computer. Checking my facebook, I saw the ads on the right of the screen: Zoosk.com dating site for young adults. Well I took the dumb chance of actualy thinking about it, "Im gona see how many guys I can get to be interested in me, see if Im beautiful like my mom says..." that was the start of it all.

Signing up and making an account for this, required your age, and you had to be eighteen or older. Well that was my second dumb move. I lied. I put that I was eighteen years old, I knew I could pass as that age, but I felt so guilty about lying. Apparently not enough to just end the signing up. It also required your current picture. I put that up as well as, name, city, interests, hobbies, ect. All of this was part of the process of signing up. In order for the website to be able to give you local matches.

After one day, I already had a couple "flirts" : it's the way to get someone's attention and that your interested. Just these couple of flirts made me feel a little better about myself. But as always, in the back of my mind I go back to thinking about the guys at school, "None of them are interested. So what's the deal?"

So with these flirts, I deleted most of them, but not before I went to their profiles. All of them were in there twenties, there was even a man that was thirty-six I think, with kids! So to fix that problem I changed my "age range" (the ages your looking for) and set it up as 18-22, Since that was one of the options.

Same thing over a week and a half. I even talked with some and texted three of them. But with all of them I told them my age (15). And thank god these were eighteen and nineteen year olds I was talking to. It was short lived with them, I meen I wasn't bummed out or anything, I was kind of glad I didn't get into it (that wasn't my plan anyways).

I told a friend about this little "experiment" of mine and she flipped, she told me to delete my account and to not go on the website again. I saw the concern she had for me and I thought about it, "Well what was I gona do anyways? I'm not meeting any of these guys. And if I stay on, i'm just being a big tease."

Apparently it's October nineth. Just about to look at my account one last time before deleting it and there's a message for me. Well what the heck I'll check what this guy has to say to me. I go check this message sent from user name: "Goofy Man" and it's the sweetest thing ever. All I remember from his long message was, "First off, let me just say, you are beautiful.- I hope you can give me a chance to flatter you on a date sometime, and since we both really like movies, we can go see one."

Ok so I'm thinking this guy is sweet, no doubt about it. Now let's check his profile. He LOOKS pretty handsome and cute, he's pretty tall, African American, loves movies, romantic, not a sporty kind of guy, oh and he's twenty-one... What?! Ya great and I don't want to ignore this message from him that is SO sweet, I'd be acting like a female dog if I did. But he's TWENTY-ONE! And his birthday is October 29th.... this month. Oh my god! What do I do?

Well this is the third dumb thing I do.... I REPLY!..... I say something along the lines of, "Your sweet and I don't know about me being beautiful but ok, and wow, yes I am a big movie person. Well maybe we can text. It would be easier if we did that instead of messaging on the computer."

Yup the fourth dumb move I make was giving him my cell phone number!....We eventualy started texting and I remember how it started: Im at my friends house sleeping over and we're on the computer looking at music and stuff and my cell phone goes off with a text. It was from a number I didn't recognise. It had said something like, "Hi this is Goofy. How are you?" and this was like at 11 or 12 at night. It was way past my phone cerfew and I had to let him know.

So of course I texted him once saying, "Oh hey goofy, im really sorry but i cant text right now, its really late and past my phone cerfew, so ill text u tomorrow." Looking back now..... I probabaly sounded like a freakn fifteen year old. Great.

He could of just left it alone but he texted back saying, "oh ok, no problem, talk to you tomorrow then."

The next morning I had woken up at around 7 in the morning and I remember texting him almost immediantly. I had woken him up apparently, but he didn't even crae, he was just happy I was talking to him. I told him how it was so ironic that I was wearing my goofey pj shirt and that made us introduce ourselves with our names. He asked what I was doing and I told him the truth, I was trying to think of a horror story to write, an asignment from my english class that was due a few days away. So he helped me out with a title name and some character's names as well.

We talked and talked and I found out alot about him, he was adopted, lives with his uncle, none of his siblings are with him, he rights poems, ect.

I end up falling for this guy fast and the same with him. I'M the one to say, "I wana meet you." Fourth dumb move I make. So his birthday comes, and he's TWENTY-TWO. Just peachy. How am I going to tell him that I'm only 15?!

*there will be more. plenty more. and yes it is and will be all true stuff. this is all i can type up right now, lets hope it's a good autobiography*