𝖗𝖚𝖓𝖆𝖜𝖆𝖞 [mackannie]

two.

written in mackenzie's pov

i'm sitting on my bed, home alone and studying, when i hear the door bell ring. not once, not twice, but fourteen times. it's accompanied by a pounding on the door. it must be annie.

i roll my eyes and peel myself away from my arithmetic to answer the door. unsurprisingly annie stands in the door way, her face red and blotchy and her eyes bloodshot. this happens at least once a week.

i just take her by the hand and silently lead her up to my bedroom. as we enter she chortles to herself. "you're revising math on a saturday? we don't even have any upcoming tests."

i don't say anything, i just clear away the school supplies from my bed as annie punches herself in the leg. she's wincing as she does it, which means she's cut recently.

"stop it," i mutter. she clenches her fists in annoyance, but doesn't hit herself anymore. once i'm finished tidying my study supplies, i sit down on the bed and pat the empty space next to me.

annie climbs onto my bed, perches momentarily on the space i made, before crawling into my lap and wrapping her arms round my neck, clinging to me.

then she bursts into tears. not the soft, delicate, pretty tears you see in films. ugly, hard sobs that make her entire body shake.

i cradle her tiny body, gently running my fingers through her hair, until she finally stops crying. it's scary how often this happens, annie showing up uninvited and crying in my arms. i'm used to it though, and i don't mind, she's my best friend.

i'll let you in on a secret; i like annie. rather a lot. you're probably thinking, 'she's gay, just tell her, it could work out' but if i tell her, and she doesn't feel the same way, which i'm almost sure she doesn't, it could tear us apart. most friends would be hard to lose, and losing annie would be shitty for me, but if annie lost me? i don't think she'd cope.

so i stay quiet, silently wishing i could hold annie at times other than when she's crying her heart out.

once she's stopped crying, annie looks up at me, her eyes red and pained. "kenzie?"

"yeah?" i ask, winding a strand of her soft, brown hair around my index finger.

"are you going to prom?" annie asks, which surprises me. prom is a month away, and honestly, i haven't even thought about it yet.

"i don't know," i shrug, "are you?"

annie bites her lip in concentration. "i haven't decided yet," she says finally, "mom says that if i miss it, i'll regret it, but the only one i'm bothered about is senior prom. why are we the only school in the country with a sophomore prom? it doesn't make sense."

i shrug. "i don't see the point. i'd rather stay home and do maths homework than embarrass myself in a tiny dress twerking."

annie laughs. "i'd like to see you twerking in a tiny dress."

"you'd just stare at my ass," i giggle.

annie just winks, making my heart flutter. you see, annie's a very flirtatious person, and that doesn't stop when she's talking to me.

"have you got a date for prom?" i ask.

annie scoffs, "kenzie, i could count the amount of girls i know that like girls on one hand. and i count for three because i'm awesome."

"who's the other two?"

"my creepy aunt maria, the one with all the cats, and that senior girl who's bi but like super slutty. not to make shitty stereotypes but she's fucked like every girl and guy i know, including my brother."

"your brother fucked jordyn?!" i exclaim.

"okay no. she tried to seduce him with her sexy evilness," annie giggles, "but he was all like 'i love maddie' and she was like 'ew'."

"oh right," i laugh, "you know that not all bi people are sluts though?"

"yeah i know that realistically they can't all be sluts," annie says, "but i've never met a bi girl who wasn't a slut."

i bite my lip and look down at my hands, "yes you have."

annie scoffs. "yeah right, who? give me their snapchat so we can date."

my hands are shaking as i take a breath, "you've met me, and i'm not a slut."

annie's eyes widen, "what?! you're bi?!"

"yeah..."

annie stands up, "why didn't you tell me?!"

i shrug. "i didn't want you to make a big deal out of it. and i don't want people to think i'm saying it for attention, or copying you, or that we're dating."

annie crosses her arms across her chest and huffs. she walks over to my window seat and perches on it, hugging her knees into her chest and resting her head on her glass, staring into the distance with her back to me. she's silent for a while, before mumbling, "kenzie, i can't take this anymore."

my heart stops. the last time she said that to me she almost died. i remember it perfectly.

it was the night she came out. i saw her instagram post and texted her saying how proud i was of her for finally coming out. that everyone would still love her endlessly. she texted back simply, 'i can't take this anymore'. i'd sent her a stream of texts asking what she meant, and when i realised that she wasn't answering, i called her all night. she didn't pick any of the calls up.

she texted me the next morning from the ER after overdosing and having her stomach pumped. they hospitalised her for a week, but of course she told everyone she was staying with her aunt carol in arizona.

i snap out of my thoughts and look over at annie, "anns? what do you mean?"

annie just sighs, hugging her knees closer and nibbling on her lower lip. "i can't do it anymore. waking up everyday and hating myself, having my own parents hate me, just because i like girls."

"annie, you're scaring me," i say anxiously.

"sorry. i just can't. i can't stay here."

i bite my lip and make my way over to where annie is curled up on the window seat. i sit across from her and take her hand. "babe... you aren't gonna— you know— try and kill youself, are you?" i whisper, my hand shaking as i speak.

annie shakes her head. "i won't give them the satisfaction." she stays quietly before her head suddenly jerks up, as if she just had an epiphany. "kenzie!"

"what?" i ask, startled.

"kenzie, run away with me!"