Story of my life (so far)

Chapter 1 (3rd grade or whatever)

My father, an educator by day... but strict and hitting my brother and I and cussing us out. 

My mother, a hairstylist. But she'd be putting up with my father's bullshit. 

My brother, a sports fanatic.  

and then there was me.. I wasn't sure about what I was at the time, but all I knew is that I was a tad bit different. 

I grew up in a strict catholic household, I taught that homosexuality is the worst thing imaginable and you'd be sent to hell if you were to fall into that category. A few girls came out to me as gay and I tried to be really supportive of them but my parents opinions and knowledge of the subject would always be in the back of my mind. I slowly distanced myself away from them and I felt horrible.  I always thought it was true... But maybe around the time I was in the 3rd grade I was almost raped by 2 of my good friends.. (I'm not gonna give out their real names so.. let's call them Rachel and and Ryan *sorry to anyone named Rachel and Ryan* They're also the girls who came out to me)  Rachel had locked me in my room when my mom was outside, she pinned me by the back of my neck and grabbed the hem of my shorts. I didn't know exactly what was happening at the time but all I know is that I was scared. I kicked her as hard as I could and I ran out to the front yard. A few months after this happened, My friend Ryan and I were at my friend Sophia's birthday party and it was supposed to be a sleep over, I was excited and ready for anything.. at least.. I thought I was. It was around 7:30-ish when my friend Ryan pinned me onto the carpeted floor by my shoulders and sat on my stomach (Something I wasn't ready for). She looked me in the eyes, got off and started to take off my shorts (yes, shorts again what a coincidence) I had yelled "RAPE!" or something along those lines and Sophia's mom yelled from the other room "I don't need that language in my christian household!" and Ryan just got up out of embarrassment because Sophia and a few other girls were looking at her.  Needless to say I called my mother and left. 
       I thought homosexuality was the worst thing ever because of that experience, until New years of 2014. One of the neighbor hood girls had come over and I thought she was really pretty but I never acted upon it. She and I had talked and hung out for a good majority of the night but she then decided she wanted to hang out in my room and I was like "Yeah sure dude!" We spoke for a few more minutes until she looked me in the eyes and said to me "I really like you, and I've seen a few videos and.... I saw some stuff I wanted to try with you.~" I was blushing like crazy by now but I said "I think you're really pretty... but like... what kind of stuff?" I was so confused she had gotten off of my bed and told me to close my eyes and lay down on my bed, I obliged. 

That night changed my life.. but I could never talk about it with anyone else. A few weeks later, after new years.. I walked over to her house to see if she wanted to walk over to my house to hang out and play the Wii (I feel so old LMAO) but she just slammed the door on my face and didn't talk to me for 4 years, The night before I moved to another neighbor hood. She just told me she regretted that night and hasn't spoken to me since. I've felt horrible, All I could think was "Did I do something wrong?" 
Until 6th grade hit.. 



Would you guys like me to continue writing this? (I mean if you don't it's fine.) Just comment and tell me what you want me to do :)