Chapter 15

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The scent of wolves hit my nose and my body went into overdrive. "Ethan, Aiden, Jackson. Get behind me." I said. Out of my peripheral vision, I could see that the boys were giving me confused looks. "Trust me." I said under my breath even though I never took my eyes off the group.

"Who are you?" I asked. "My names Sam. This is Embry, Quill, Jacob, Leah, Paul, Jared and Seth." Sam said as he pointed out each person. I gave them a slight nod and said, "My name's Amara. The twins are Ethan and Aiden. And the one with the Abercrombie looking face is Jackson."

"It's nice to meet you. How come you are here?" Sam asked. His posture showed no hostility in it. "Cliff jumping." I said. "You wouldn't be able to handle it." Paul said with a snicker. I narrowed my eyes at him and said, "Never underestimate a girl."

The boys moved away from the edge and let me have a clear shot to the edge. "Ten bucks says you don't do it." Paul called out as I turned towards the cliff. "Twenty says she does." Jackson said. "You're on." Paul said.

"I bet ten that she does jump." The youngest said. I think his name is Seth. "No way! She's not going to do it. Ten bucks that she won't." Jared said. "Fifty bucks says she will." Jacob said. I shot the twins a look and backed away from the edge.

"See! She's not going to......" Paul started. I took off as fast as I could at human speed and swan dived off the edge of the cliff. I hit the water and felt the cold hit me like a brick. I pushed myself up to the surface and started towards the shore.

That's when a howl shot through the air. One of my boys was calling out to me. My eyes shot towards the cliff and I saw that all three of them were morphed. They weren't looking at the wolf pack, they were looking at the water.

I glanced around and saw a woman with red hair and eyes a few feet away from me. "It's not smart to be swimming. Not when you could catch a cold." The woman said. "Leech." I said with a snarl. My eyes flashed red and I kicked her away from me.

I took off towards the shore as fast as I could. My strength and speed came in handy right now. My pack was at the shoreline. They were waiting for me. I was about to pull myself out of the water when the red-haired woman grabbed my leg, pulling me under.

I could barely hear someone yell out, "NO!" The woman started to drag me down into the deeper water. My lungs were screaming at me. My head felt like it was about to explode. That's when I remembered the talk with the counselor that Stiles had.

(Flashback)

"You know when you're drowning, you don't inhale until right before you blackout. It's called voluntary apnea. It's like no matter how much you're freaking out, the instinct to not let any water in is so strong that you won't open your mouth until you feel like your head's exploding.

But then when you finally do let it in, that's when it stops hurting. It's not scary anymore. It's.....it's kind of peaceful." Stiles said as he stopped working on his lacrosse stick. Ms. Morrell asked, "Are you saying you hope Matt felt some peace in his last moments?"

Stiles replied, "I don't feel sorry for him." Ms. Morrell looked at Stiles and asked, "Can you feel sorry for the nine-year-old Matt who drowned?" Stiles just shook his head, "Just because a bunch of dumbasses dragged him into a pool when he couldn't swim doesn't give him the right to go off killing them one by one.

And by the way, my dad told me that they found a bunch of pictures of Allison on Matt's computer. And not just of her though. I mean, he photo-shopped himself into these pictures. Stuff like them holding hands and kissing.

You know, like he had built this whole fake relationship. So yeah, maybe drowning when he was nine years old was what sent him off the rails, but the dude was riding the crazy train." Ms. Morrell looked at Stiles and asked, "One positive thing came out of this, though. Right?

Stiles went back to work on his lacrosse stick and sighed. "Yeah. Yeah, but I still feel like there's something wrong between us. I don't know. It's just like tension when we talk. Same thing with Scott and Amara." Stiles said.

They talked about other things for a while and then Stiles asked, "How come you're not taking any notes on this?" Ms. Morrell smiled at Stiles as she said, "I do my notes after the session." Stiles looked impressed and asked, "Your memory's that good?"

Ms. Morrell asked, "How about we get back to you? Stiles?" Stiles looked down and said, "I'm fine. Yeah, aside from the not sleeping, the jumpiness, the constant, overwhelming, crushing fear that something terrible's about to happen."

Ms. Morrell said, "It's called hypervigilance, the persistent feeling of being under threat." Stiles said, "But it's not just a feeling, though. It's - it's like it's a panic attack. You know, like I can't even breathe."

Ms. Morrell asked, "Like you're drowning?" Stiles replied, "Yeah." Ms. Morrell asked with a thoughtful look on her face, "So if you're drowning, and you're trying to keep your mouth closed until that very last moment, what if you choose to not open your mouth? To not let the water in?"

Stiles replied, "You do anyway. It's a reflex." Ms. Morrell looked at Stiles and asked, "But if you hold off until that reflex kicks in, you have more time, right?" Stiles shook his head and said, "Not much time."

"But more time to fight your way to the surface?" Ms. Morrell pressed. Stiles sighed and said, "I guess." "More time to be rescued?" She pressed again. Stiles looked at her like she was crazy. "More time to be in agonizing pain.

I mean, did you forget about the part where you feel like your head's exploding?" He asked. Ms. Morrell asked in a soft voice, "If it's about survival, isn't a little agony worth it?" Stiles sighed and asked, "But what if it just gets worse? What if it's agony now and then - and it's just hell later on?"

Ms. Morrell looked Stiles in the eye and said, "Then think about something Winston Churchill once said - 'If you're going through hell, keep going.'" I moved away from the door and headed back to class then.

(end of flashback)

My mind was in overdrive. I was trying to claw at the red-haired woman but she was just out of my reach. Just as I started to blackout, two burning hot hands grabbed onto my shoulders. With the last of my strength, I kicked the redhead off of me.

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