ugh it's 2:13 am and I can't sleep. I've been up the whole time. I wanna cry but I wanna go jump around . I don't know anymore. I can't become depressed again. My scars are so visible I hate them. But I wanna punish myself for being so god damn stupid of a person I'm so stupid I don't even matter my mom was right.
I go to the bathroom and I start to cry. I fall into the floor so suddenly not being able to control my movement.. great.... another panic attack
At that moment I felt like I was gonna die. Or just pass out
I was DONE living in this world. Chase probably hates me. I'm so annoying he probably feels bad for me. he's so good looking and I thought there could've been a chance but who would date a peace of shit like me?.
I whimper loudly then hold my mouth shut so I don't wake chase up. I guess I was too late
"Kyli- OH MY god what happened"
He said running to pull me into his arms
He rubbed my back and pulled me to his lap
"I- can't do th-this anymo-more. I'm so annoying, ugly, fat, unworthy, and I feel so bad because u just feel bad for me. I just wanna DIE."
His mouth was open in shock
"Kylie.... YOURE NOT ANNOYING! you're NOT ugly, NOT fat. You're perfect the way you are, if you wanna work on it we can together but I love you the way you are. You're not annoying. You're so beautiful kylie. I need you to kno-"
And then I smashed my lips into him. And he kissed back..... YESSSSS OMG FUCK YAY
I pulled away slowly and had a tear running slowly under my eye down my pink cheeks.
Chase wiped it away with his sleeve and put the blanket on me.
"Come here" he said as I scooted closer to him. I shivered and he took his hoodie leaving him shirtless. "It's ok chase I'm fin-" "take it." He said in a soft tone. He put it on me making my hair messy. He fixed it after and rubbed my arms. "Better?" He asked with a small frown. "Much better" i said with a small smile. He pulled me closer so I was on his chest and my arms were around him. "How are you feeling?" He asked rubbing my back. "Eh" was all I said
He chuckled and kissed my hair over my head. He wrapped his arms around me and I was drifting off to sleep listening to his heart beat.