Chapter Six

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After breakfast, we say goodbye and go our seperate ways. He was cute during our little "date". He pulled my chair out for me and kissed me on the cheek goodbye. He was sweet and I did like him but I couldn't help but compare him to Shaun. Shaun was sexy and he understood exactly what I liked. No matter what I did, my mind always trailed back to Shaun and I couldn't do anything about it. I lay my hands on my stomach and rub. This child will be loved and there was no way I could get rid of it. No matter what, this child will have it's mother. Something inside me jumps slightly and the butterflies began in my stomach. I was beginning to get excited about my baby which felt weird to say. My baby.

A knock on the door startles me. I walk to the door and open it to find Shaun standing there, head looking towards the ground. He looks up at me and I can't help but sigh and roll my eyes.

"Bloody hell," is all that comes out of my mouth before I go to shut the door in his face. His hand slams on the door and stops me from closing it.

"Wait," he says looking up into my eyes. He is wearing the same clothes he was wearing last night, more ruffled and creased than they were hours ago. He'd obviously slept in them. I can still smell the alcohol on his breath but he doesn't seem drunk anymore, just a faint reminder of the night before.

"I have nothing to say to you and you obviously want nothing to do with me or your child," I snap at him. His eyes fill with guilt and sadness.

"I didn't mean any of it last night, I was drunk," he blurts out. I sigh once again, knowing he's bullshitting his way back into my pants again.

"Shaun, alcohol doesn't make you say what you haven't already thought. It only gives you the courage to say it. So go home and don't ever come back."

"But you have to understand, please. I-I had a rough childhood," he says without thinking about it. He looks serious. His mouth straight, no sign of a smile trying to work its way to the surface.

"What do you mean?" I ask him cautiously. He takes a deep breath.

"My dad, he was never around. He was always out drinking and taking drugs. He was roughly my age when my mum had me. He couldn't handle having a child so he let out his frustrations through alcohol, drugs and," he pauses, "my mum and I." Woah. I didn't see this coming. Him and his mother were abused when he was young? "He hit us, not knowing how to be a parent. He didn't think he was able to care for us and when I was born, it showed that he couldn't care for us. He wasn't a fit parent for me and-"
"And now you think that you can't be a fit enough parent for our child," I interrupt, not hesitating. He nods his head.

"How can I be a parent when all I've ever known about a father is that when your child does something out of line, skip sending them to their bedroom without dinner, hitting them is the only way?" My heart drops for the boy standing in front of me. He is lost and he doesn't know which path to follow. His eyes are glossy, tears threatening to fall but he doesn't let them. He wipes his eyes and breathes in deep again.

"I've been thinking about this all night, Brook. I want to be apart of this child's future. Our child's future," he corrects himself, "I want to be a better father than my own and show myself that fathers are capable of so much more than what my father revolved his life around." He looks at me with hopeful eyes. I can tell he's being serious about this and genuine but something is telling me not to believe him. But I can't help it. I pull him into a hug, wrapping my arms around his neck and once the shock passes, he wraps his arms around my lower body, the feeling of familiarity seeping back into my body. This felt right. He pulls back and looks me in the eyes.

"I want to be there for you and our child, and I won't have it any other way." He leans in closer to me and my body is calling for him to put his lips on mine, the way they used to. I can feel his breathe on my lips and I close the kiss. His lips are soft just like I remember but have a faint hint of alcohol on them. His mouth moved perfectly with mine, his tongue licking my bottom lip, asking for access. I open my mouth for him and let him in and he explores my mouth. My body wants him bad but I don't want to move too fast. I guess today was going to have to be an exception.

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