Brianna's POV
⚠️MENTIONS OF SUICIDE ATTEMPT⚠️
(Should I blur out suicide? Sorry I dont rlly know if it would help..tell me if is should and I'll edit it right away)
7:30am
My eyes grew less heavy as I drug my body up off my bed and went to turn on the light.
Today felt. Unreal.
It felt like a dream.
I walked over to my bed to text Marilyn. Me and her haven't been on good terms lately. I wanted to fix that.
Me
Hey mamas
*text failed to send to Marilyn*
I tried FaceTiming her.
No answer.
I went onto her Instagram
"Account not found"
Snapchat?
I open Snapchat carefully and went tapped on her bitmoji. I felt my mouth form a smile as a saw a paragraph.
Dear Brianna,
"I'm sorry. What I'm about to do will do nothing but disappoint me. It's not your fault. You can't help the way your actions make me feel. But I feel as if all I did was try and make you happy but all you did was choose someone else. It's all you've ever done. I've heard you say you love me once out of all the years I've known you and you didn't even mean it. We have had our good moments and our bad ones. But all I felt and heard when I woke up this morning where the bad ones. All I heard in my head was you telling me the things you always say. You've always said it won't happen again but you keep doing it. I woke up this morning and opened a text from someone from your science class and honestly I really can't fucking handle you and your bullshit anymore. This isn't your fault. Don't put the blame on you."
I felt my head get dizzy.
I put my phone down and slowly sat down on the floor.
What does she mean?
I suddenly felt a huge wave of guilt drown my body as I realized it's all my fault. I've done nothing but treat her like shit. No matter how many times she says not to blame myself. it's not true. I knew it was gonna end. Just not like this. Not with one man standing.
I felt my eyes grow heavy and my vision go black.
————————————————————————
A/N-
breathe.
I'm not gonna tell your alright. But I want you to know that life isn't supposed to be easy and loving. Things happen. People are gonna come in to your life, and leave. all that does it make you a better and stronger person. Your life isn't even halfway over yet and crying over someone or something only closes the way to be in someone else's life. I can't sit here and tell you you're future is gonna be fine and to just stop crying. It doesn't work like that, but if I can't do that you can't tell yourself your life is worth wasting. The chances of you being born are 1 out of 400 trillion, there was a reason you weren't wasted a long time ago. I promise you one day you will make yourself the happiest fucking person alive and you'll see that you almost wasted it. just know that everyone will experience heartbreak. Wether its relationship, family problems, or anything. It's a way of life and a way of shaping you into who you are. everything causes another thing. Don't look down and think that your life is shit because of it. You never know why it happened and what it will lead you to.
Love You💗
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