Chapter Twenty-Nine

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Chapter Twenty-Nine

Afraid to let you go

'Cause without you I'm lost

And no matter the cost

I'm standing next to you

From: Penguin Received: 4:07 PM

Just so you're aware, my bachelor party is in two weeks.

To: Penguin Sent: 4:10 PM

I'm aware.

From: Penguin Received: 4:15 PM


From: Penguin Received: 4:44 PM

Are you mad at me?

From: Penguin Received: 4:54 PM


To: Penguin Sent: 5:32 PM

Yes I'm mad at you. I'm fucking pissed at you, but what kind of best man would I be if I didn't go to your stupid bachelor party, which by the way shouldn't be fucking happening. Does Michael know?

From: Penguin Received: 5:44 PM

What'd I do?

To: Penguin Sent: 5:53 PM

You fucked my cousin.

From: Penguin Received: 5:55 PM

This isn't something we should be talking about like this.

From: Penguin Received: 6:03 PM

Harry, don't ignore me.

From: Penguin Received: 6:09 PM

Answer your fucking phone.

From: Penguin Received: 6:19 PM

Harry, please.

From: Penguin Received: 6:33 PM

Harry I'm sorry, please... pick up your phone. We need to talk about this... I'm sorry.

From: Penguin Received: 6:46 PM



"What the fuck are you doing here?" I crossed my arms over my chest as Luke stood in my doorway. He was breathing heavily like he had been running, but at this moment I couldn't care. I was still hungover from the night before, and I was in no mood to be dealing with Luke.

"You wouldn't pick up your phone."

"Well yeah, I don't want to talk to you."

"You have to at least let me explain Harry... You can't... You can't just ignore me."

"Watch me." I smiled a little before going to slam the door, of course Luke was a little quicker than me and stopped it before I got the chance.

"You're such a child." He hissed, pushing the door open and letting himself in.

"You're one to fucking talk. How in your right mind did you think it would be okay to do this? I swear Luke, we're not in high school anymore. You're engaged and you're out fucking my cousin." I felt like I was going to scream until I was blue in the face, that's how it always seemed to be with Luke. He always in the right, never in the wrong.

And I fucking hate it.

"I know. I know I'm engaged, and fuck I know that... That I'm messing up big time here. I mean I actually have a future with Michael and here I am screwing the one guy who probably never wants anything more than just sex. Michael loves me and I... I don't know if I love him."

"Then why in gods name are you getting married to him?" I let out a sigh, looking at him like he was losing his mind. It wasn't that hard of a choice. When you love someone, you be with them, you don't lead them to believe you love them.

"Because he's who I'm supposed to be with. He's the one who's going to love me no matter what, he's going to make me happy. He's who I need."

"And what about Liam? Are you just going to lead him on till you get hitched? Are you going to keep giving him that fucking glimmer of hope that you'll be with him? He loves you Luke, he might not tell you that he does but goddammit will you just stop and look at him for once? He doesn't just want you cause you're good in bed."

"I'm not good for Liam."

"Well I'm glad we agree on something." Luke glared at me for a moment before a sad expression crossed his face. He bit his lip, running a hand through his hair as he looked at me.

"I fucked up."

"No shit."

"What am I going to do Harry? I don't know what I'm going to do." Luke said slowly, looking almost as if he was going to cry.

"Well for one I think you should talk to Michael."

"I can't... I can't tell him."

"He's going to find out eventually, better from you than from someone else."

"He'll hate me."

"Sometimes that's a fact you just have to face."

"I can't."

"Too bad. He deserves to know Luke. He's your fiancee and he needs to know what exactly he's getting himself into before he marries you."

"I can't lose him Harry."

"Well you should've thought of that before you screwed my cousin."

"I made a mistake."

"Obviously more than once. I get that you aren't exactly happy with Michael, but seriously... You should've left Liam out of this. He has a chance to move on and be happy you know? He can live a happy life."

"I know, and I guess that's why I did it. I.... I don't want him to be happy if I'm not happy."

"That's fucked up."

"I kinda learned from the best."

"I'm not a good rolemodel Luke. I don't fucking understand why you look up to me, look up to Louis! He's the one who's successful, he's the one who's married and fuck... I'm not a good person to look up to."

"Louis isn't like my brother. You... You've been there for me since I can remember Harry... You used to stand up for me in the playground... Remember that? It's impossible not to look up to you. I get that you're scared I'm gonna end up like you, but Harry where you're at right now doesn't seem to bad."

"I don't want you to be like me Luke. Not now, not ever."

"I know you don't, and that's why I'm doing what I have to do... I'll tell Michael after the bachelor party. If he calls off the wedding it happens... I won't... I won't bother Liam again. It's the least I can do right?"

"You deserve to be happy too Luke... Just not like this. If Liam is really what you want then by all means be with him, but if he's not then don't. Don't keep him holding on, cause if there's one thing I know about my cousin it's that he never let's go. I mean I killed his turtle when we were six and he still holds a grudge."


I got a fish today.

I named him Carlos.

Carlos the Fish








Connie xx

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