Chapter 40

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[I have noticed that the reading count and voting count has gone down which is upsetting but understandable. I am going to try to at least upload once a week and if not than each two weeks once for sure... I am really sorry but I will not let you down. I have so much to share with all of you. So stay tuned for Shadows because it will hit you in ways you would never think of. I love you all.]


"I have to track him down." I rushed my words and walked away. I felt Alec grabbing my pulse and pulling me back so I would face him. I looked at him in confusion, not really understanding why he was stopping me from trying to find my brother. His facial expression terrified me because it just showed sorrow and sadness. It made me feel like what I was about to wouldn't be successful at all. I heard some Shadowhunters mumbling and from far away I could see Izzy - and Liz running towards us.

"Clary, it is not that easy." Alec said softly and I frowned. I freed myself from his grip and looked down. What does he mean with that?

"Why not? I have his bracelet and not to forget we have his clothes here. We can track him down with our parabatai bond." I said with full of hope and Alec shook his head which made me question all the ways I was trying to find Jace. I did not knew a thing about my shadowhunter abilities but I wanted to try. I wanted to get my brother back...

"It is dangerous, Clary. Jonathan is a demon and he knows how to use dark magic. It can be dangerous when we try to track him down." He said and I clenched my jaw. The only reason why he didn't want to help me was because he was afraid that something might happen to him or me. I laughed and pushed him away. This was ridiculous. He would have crossed rules for his sister.

"Alec, you are pathetic. You avoid me for weeks and now you won't even try to help me find my brother." I said annoyed and I could see that it made Alec angry. He never liked it when I brought him down like that but he did not gave me any other choice. He was being selfish here.

"I am just trying to protect you." He said and I laughed again. Frustrated, I let my hand go through my hair and flipped it backwards as it bounced back in my face. I looked furious at Alec and held every nerve inside me back to not burst out of anger. I clenched my hand into small fists and closed my eyes. I have to control myself... Clary, control yourself.

"Relax..." He said softly as he came closer and that was the last thing that made me even angrier. He had no idea how this felt. He had no idea that all this power was making me crazy. I wanted to get my brother back and I was done being the centre of everything. This was about Jace. Not me. It was making me insane. I can't do this anymore.

"CAN EVERYONE JUST STOP TRYING TO PROTECT ME?!" I screamed out of anger and felt my anger boiling inside of me. It felt like fire was realising out of my body. I closed my eyes as I could feel my anger escaping my body. I exhaled sharply and heard Alec grunt. I quickly opened my eyes, afraid that I have hurt him all over again.

Alec was looking down at the burnt mark I had given him. He took his stele and activated his Iratze rune but for a moment it looked like that wouldn't make any difference at all. He looked up, looking me right in my eyes. I knew that he did not blame me but the guilt was eating me inside out. I couldn't control my powers. I was just a ticking bomb that could explode at any moment.

"I am sorry." I said quickly as I moved forward and helped him activating his Iratze rune all over again. Hoping that it would benefit him now. For a second, I couldn't hear the voices full of panic or the computers giving signals that demonic powers. It was just Alec and I. It was just us. I looked him in his eyes and I couldn't stop myself from thinking how his lips would feel again on mine. I looked away and stood up.

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