Fragile Heart

Chapter Nineteen~ Down Hill

Chapter Nineteen~ Down Hill

Everything went downhill after I found out I needed a heart transplant. I knew my dad couldn't pay for the transplant even if I considered going along with it.

I don't know if my dad could have the doctors give me a heart transplant without my consent, but I hoped that they didn't. My dad would forever be in debt for a heart.

Everyone dies, so why not just go sooner?

Maybe living in the hell that everyone is talking about because people live in pain every day. I see other people who are happy all the time, and I wonder how they do it.

How can someone be happy when the world is against them. Since the moment I was born, my story was written to be filled with heartbreak and disappointment.

I may not have known about it, but I quickly learned that I shouldn't hope for a better life. I would always be some charity case that would never go anywhere in life.

I was discharged from the hospital a couple of-of days ago, and ever since then, I've just been in this mood that I couldn't decipher.

I sucked at figuring out my emotions, and it showed. With others, I had a slight understanding of it, but I couldn't comprehend what I was feeling.

I knew I was scared, but there was something else. Something that was actually preventing me from getting the heart transplant.

I stared down at the gushing water from on this old bridge. The view was amazing, and if I could, I'd stay here forever.

I watched a fawn come from out of the trees, and start sipping the water. Sometimes I wished that most of the population thought about what they were doing to animals. Taking their homes, and not bothering to replant the trees they took down.

"What're you doing?" Someone asked, behind me.

I quickly turned around to see Sebastian.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I walk these trails all the time. Now, can you explain why you're sitting on the bridge." He replied.

I was confused as to why he seemed worried until it dawned on me that he thought I was trying to commit suicide.

"I'm not trying to commit suicide if that's what you're thinking. I came up here to clear my head." I explained.

"Oh, may I join you?" He asked, not bothering to wait for my reply before sitting down next to me.

"So, why haven't I seen you around in school?" He questioned.

"What is this, 20 questions?" I said jokingly before continuing, "in all honesty, I was hospitalized a couple of days ago for having a seizure, and found out I needed a heart transplant." I explained, pouring my heart out.

"Holly shit." Was all he said.

"I know right. My dad's willing to pay for the transplant, but I don't want it."

"Why not?" He said, confused.

"I guess some part of me is scared, I know that if I go through with this, I'll be put on a waiting list, and who knows if I'll even get the heart before I die," I said softly.

"Is that all you're feeling?" Sebastian asked.

"Yeah." I lied.

"I think you feel guilty. You feel guilty because a heart isn't free, and insurance isn't going to cover the whole payment. I understand what you're going through because I went through the same thing.

When I was younger, my liver was horrible, and I needed a liver transplant to survive. My parents didn't have enough money, and the insurance only covered 20% of the bill, so they had to pay out of pocket for the rest.

I felt guilty because the transplant costed so much money, and I knew my parents couldn't pay for it, but they figured out a way. To this day, I don't know how they came up with the money." Sebastian explained, and I believed him.

"So, you're saying that I should go along with the transplant," I questioned.

"I'm saying, that your dad will figure out a way and that you shouldn't feel guilty for s parent doing their job." He answered.

"What is the surgery goes wrong?"

"Believe that it won't." Was all he said.

We sat together, side by side, for a little over an hour. It was pretty comfortable, and I was glad that Sebastian was here to help me through thinking about the heart transplant.

Sorry for talking about trees this chapter, but the government freaking cut down these two trees in front of my house, and didn't bother to replant them. They also left the shredded tree dust all over our yard, like wtf clean up after yourselves.