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Oceans by Seafret

|Rosie|

I'm trying to ignore the heated conversation Cillian and Lily are engaged in on the opposite side of the room, but it's proven rather difficult. Every hurtful word they spit at each other pierces my heart a little more. Everyone—except Cillian—knows his drinking has been getting progressively worse in recent weeks. Honestly, I don't think I've seen him sober in months.

The hand resting on my waist tightens, dragging my gaze away from my best friend and the beautifully broken man. Sean Morgan and his aquamarine eyes scan my body from head to toe, making me feel wanted and desired. His handsome, yet boyish face looks at me as if he's waiting on the answer to his question.

"I'm sorry," I apologize for my ignorance. "What did you say?"

His soft chuckle makes his shoulders shake. "It's okay. I was just saying, it seems O'Shea is still a drunken asshole."

With a raised brow, I step out of his reach. "Excuse me?"

Sean takes hold of my hand; he must notice the look of horror on my face because he's quick to apologize.

"Shit! I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I know you two are close. It's just... I've watched you follow him around for years; he's too stupid to realise you're standing right in front of him." He reaches up, pushing a stray hair from my face. "You deserve better than that. Any man lucky enough to have your attention should kiss the ground you walk on."

I wanted this, a man who sees me. I drink in his features. He looks nothing like Cillian. His ashy blonde hair is cut tightly to his scalp; his aquamarine eyes—so light, they're almost transparent—rest under his naturally furrowed brow. And a sharp jawline that could carve glass frames his face. Technically, he's gorgeous, but I don't feel... it. The heart-stopping, earth-quaking, soul claiming rush I have when I'm around Cillian. But, isn't that what tonight is all about? Letting all those daydreams I've spent years living in, go; to move on from the boy whose heart is undeniably unattainable.

I wonder if letting him go is an option. Glancing over at Cillian once more, that's when I see it. My heart, breaking right before my eyes. He's leaning back in the old leather armchair with his eyes closed. But that's not what's caused my stomach to drop ten thousand feet. No, it's the girl straddling his lap and the way his arms are clutching her waist as her lips travel over the protruding vein that creeps out of the neckline of his t-shirt. The blatant disregard for my feelings and the deafening sound of every promise of someday comes crashing down with a heavy ear-piercing silence against the floor. I watch the way his hand teases the hem of her crop top, and suddenly, all the air in the room dissipates. I need to get out of here; away from him and the feelings that are threatening to pull me under.

"I'm going to head home." Sean's eyes crinkle with disappointment at my announcement, but I can't stay here a second longer. I'm well aware, whatever it is between Cillian and I, it does not resemble a relationship. And I'm all sorts of crazy for getting jealous over someone I haven't kissed since I was ten years old. But I can't help it; I'm not like Lily. I can't acknowledge my feelings and then tell them to fuck off. They're very present and staying here will only aggravate them more.

After walking over to the coat rack, I pull on my leather jacket and head for the door. Right before I turn the handle, Sean gently grips my elbow. "Rosie, wait up." Spinning in place, I face him. "It's dark, let me walk you home?"

"Thanks, but I'm only one field over. It won't take me long." I reassure him.

"Please, I'd feel like a complete dick if I let you walk home at night on your own." Holding his hands up, in an 'I mean no harm' gesture, he adds "I promise to keep these to myself." His smouldering smirk makes me blush.

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