Limerence

IV

BLAKE MAXWELL

Once we got back to the house, Mr. Simons, the coolest dad of all dads, said that we were all going out to dinner at this special place that was right by the ocean. We didn't waste any time showering and getting dressed. I quickly smoothed my thick bush of hair out and put on a blue, short-sleeved button-down with some khaki shorts. I then debated on whether or not to put on some cologne, but then I grew self-conscious, so I decided not to. 

Leah came into my room, and it seriously took all of my strength to act casually. I just wanted nothing more than to kiss her right then and there. She was wearing a black sundress with a completely open back. Her hair was tied in a neat - not messy - bun. Her round glasses were once again occupying half of her face. I could tell she was not wearing a bra. I could tell because there was not any bra showing in the open back of the dress, also, the dress was so perfectly loose on her that it kind of showed some side. I turned to face the mirror, so it wouldn't be too obvious that I was just checking out her side boob. 

"Are you ready to go?" She asked me, awakening me from my trance.

"Yeah," I almost stuttered, like the dork I am. Leah, Finn, and I walked downstairs to meet Leah and Finn's parents. All five of us walked to the restaurant. 

Dinner was great until Finn decided to open his mouth and yell some of his ridiculously immature crap. 

"WOOOOOH. Did you guys see Leah and Blake on the airplane this morning? I mean HOT DAMN. Were they flying to Bermuda or shooting a porno?" Of course, Finn would say that. 

"Finn shut the hell up," Leah snapped. Typical. 

"What? There is nothing wrong with shooting your first sex tape, Leah. Everyone makes a sex tape at some point during their lives," Finn was loving this. He loved making everything sound as if it had some sort of correlation to sex. 

"We weren't even doing anything that was remotely near sex, Finn. I literally sat around and read The Grapes of Wrath. And Blake slept," I remained silent as Leah handled this. 

"Finn, I think maybe we should stop with the sex talk," Thank God for Mrs. Simons, honestly.

"Alright, guys. Whatever you guys say. I'm just saying that if I were Blake, and Leah were not my sister, obviously, I would have grown a pair already. But it's whatever," Finn was actually starting to get on my nerves. The rest of the dinner was awkwardly silent as Leah and I stared down at our plates. This really was not even the first time someone has said something like that to us before. The only thing is that I know Leah would reject me on the spot if I were to ask her out, so I try to stay away from the topic. I keep my feelings for Leah inside because I'm extremely afraid of rejection. We quietly finished dinner and left the restaurant.

We were walking back to the house, and Leah was walking with her parents in front of Finn and I. 

"Listen, man, I know my sister. If there's anything she would not do in this world, it would be rejecting you, dude," Was this Finn's plan? Was he trying to set me up with his sister? Did he know that I already was seemingly madly in love with her?

"Dude. Are you even listening to me?"

"What? Yeah. I heard you," I replied. 

"Alright. So do it. Make a move, damn it. You can't just sit there for the rest of your high school career and not do anything. You might as well rip the bandaid off," Finn was fairly decent at pep talks. 

"I mean, I know she doesn't see me as anything more than her best friend, so I'm not so sure that that would be the best idea."

"Dude. Who cares? I'm not saying ask her out or anything. I'm saying make some sort of a move. The point is to try to hint it to her. You want to make it look like you're asking for her to give you the best sex you have ever had without actually saying 'give me the best sex I could ever have,'" There he goes again, with the sex talk.

"I guess that makes sense," I was just saying that to end this incredibly awkward conversation.

"Okay. Great. Tell me what you do," Finn continued to walk by me until we reached the house. Everyone said goodnight and went into their bedrooms. 

It was eleven p.m. and I was alone in the darkness. 

My mind began to wander to dark and private locations only accessible to myself. What if Finn was right about the whole 'make it seem as if you want the best sex possible' thing? I felt myself getting hot, and I shut the door. 

Whenever my emotions and desires reach an insurmountable point, I run away to my hideaway. This hideaway, while completely unknown to anyone else (yes, even Leah), allows me to increase my physical attraction with Leah without her even knowing about it. So, whenever I feel the need to increase our physical and emotional proximity, I go to my special bastion. The haven doesn't require much; I only have to contact my obsessions by physically touching them. Then I focus on my passionate thoughts and wishes. It's a simple, yet deeply invigorating process. And, once I finish strengthening our bond, I can sense the curse develop further and more powerfully within me.

The whole process takes about seven minutes, usually. But this happened to be a poorly timed night on my fifteen-year-old self. I jumped out of bed, literally jumped. There was no time to react; I felt the familiar flash of energy, and I could not stop that energy from escaping me through the stifled sound of my own desperation. It was there on the floor.

At least I could say I spilled water or something. 

This running away to my hideaway devoured most of my adolescence, though it started during my freshman year of high school. I used to wonder if I was the only kid actually doing it, but looking back on that now, I knew that was a silly thing to wonder about. It was too wonderful to be only accomplished by myself. In fact, I was sure that Finn was running away to his hideaway that very same night.

I collected my thoughts and stared up at the ceiling. I soon fell asleep in a dreamless void.