He did not expect to see her today. He knew that was stupid as he was bound to bumb into her in the lecture halls or around campus. But somehow he just expected her to keep her distance like she had done since the last time they spoke.
But here she was, sitted right infront of him, oblivious of his existance. She looked so peaceful and happy and for some reason, that annoyed him. Ever since that day when he yelled at her, he had been ridden with remorse. He had no peace about and felt the conviction to apologise to her. But everytime he picked up the phone to do it, pride got the better of him and he would spend another sleepless night thinking.
When guilt was not tormenting his thoughts, a sense of hopelessness would take its place. Why could he never find and keep love? Was he destined to keep going in this never ending cycle? It was all too much for him. He had started drinking again, something he had promised he would never do again. He just needed something to numb the pain and fill the void.
Unfortunately, once the buzz died down his thoughts would return like clockwork to torment him.
He felt himself distance from God and he know that only He could help him. But he was feeling very frustrated with God, why wiuld He take away the person he loved??
His thoughts were interrupted when the waiter came to take his order. He noticed Val tense up the moment she heard his voice and slowly turn back to look at him. Their eyes met, but for some reason, he could not keep her gaze. Her eyes seemed to be looking right to his core and it made him uncomfortable so he looked away.
Talk to her
The familiar still small voice spoke to him.
"why on earth would I do that? I don't want to speak to her! Besides, she probably hates me..."
She does not hate you, talk to her
Knowing there was no winning this, he sighed in frustration and walked over to her table, where she was staring blankly at her bible with a conflicted look on her face.
Again she tensed
"hi" she said in a quiet voice
"how have you been?"
"good, and yourself?"
"not to bad"
This was awkward, he thought about apologising to her but then he heard something that he had never wanted to hear in his life
She is the one I am preparing for you
With that, he turned and walked away. What?! No! He did nkt want Val. He wanted someone like Mia. Val was not his type and was too intense. She was ok to be friends with but not someone he would choose.
And how well has "your choice" gone for you?
"But you would never force me into anything, because that's the only way this would happen" he retorted
No, I would never force you
"Good, because I don't like her. Never have, never will"
Do you want my best for you? Or do you want to keep being in this cycle you have found yourself in?
" I don't know" was all he could
manage to say.
Then a thought came to mind.
"does she know?"
"yes, she has known for months now"
He ran a hand through his cropped hair in frustration. He did not want any of this. The last thing he needed, was someone he did not want.
YOU ARE READING
The Key to loveSpiritual
Valeria is a 25 year old waiting for her life to begin. having being single for seven years, holding on to the hope that God will bring the right one in His time. Because of this, she was sure she knew exactly the kind of person He would be. When K...