A New Beginning

29. Therapy/Party (Part 2)

Nick must have been on his fourth beer when he saw Trent heading towards him. Nick wasn't drunk, just tipsy to the point where he was starting to sway a little as he tried to stand still.

Trent chuckled when he saw Nick. "You should slow down."

Nick shook his head. "I'm fine. I'm not even drunk yet." Nick reassured. Nick sighed. "Bonnie's here."

Trent looked at Nick in confusion for a moment. "Who? Oh! The girl you've been fucking?"

Nick nodded. "Yeah, I guess she goes to Crawford."

"Is it a bad thing that she's here?" Trent's eyes narrowed as he examined Nick's face.

Nick groaned. "No Trent. There's a reason why it's a secret..." Trent always had the ability to find out your every inner thought and secret just by looking at you. AIt was like a sixth sense that Trent considered a gift while everyone else thought of it as a curse.

Trent gasped a little. "Oh my God."

"Trent," Nick warned.

"I think you should tell him," Trent said, smiling encouragingly at his friend.

"I...I can't Trent. I just can't." Nick said, looking away and biting his lip.

The alcohol in Nick was starting to work it's way into his system, making all the buried feelings he had for Jeff start to surface.

There was a short pause before Trent spoke. "He deserves to know why you've been so weird and distant lately. I mean, it's your life and your decision and in the end, it's up to you whether or not you say anything, but," Nick sighed deeply. "I honestly do believe that it's best for the both of you if you tell him. You can't keep running away from it. You need to face it head-on. Your sexuality isn't something you can ignore."

Nick made a childlike whining noise. He really didn't want to talk about this with Trent. He didn't want to talk about this with anyone. Nick sighed deeply, knowing that Trent wasn't going to drop the subject that easily.
There was no use in trying to ignore it now. "I know it isn't...I was just hoping I could...change..."

Trent gave Nick a sympathetic look. He could tell just how much Nick wanted to be straight. "Why though? You're perfect the way you are Nick." Trent said, blushing a little. It went unnoticed by Nick. "And besides, there's nothing wrong with being gay." He said, shrugging a little.

"I know...it's just...it's hard to explain, I guess. I don't really think I have a problem with being gay. I mean, who you love is who you love...it's just..." Nick trailed off for a moment, taking a deep breath before speaking again. "It's just being in love with him," Nick said, nodding his head towards the direction Jeff was standing with Sebastian. "That I can't stand."

Trent sighed a little. "You can't even say it, can you?"

"It's something that I don't want to say. If I do...it becomes real. And once it's said it can't be unsaid. If I keep it in, he won't ever have to know. It's for the best."

Trent shook his head a little. "I get that, I guess."

"Besides, I think he knows something's up.," Nick said, nervously glancing back up at Jeff. Jeff noticed Nick's eyes and smiled brightly and waved. Nick chuckled and waved back before turning his attention back to Trent. "And honestly, I'm terrified he'll find out," Nick said, looking down at his feet awkwardly. Nick's father had raised him to not show any weakness so it was hard for him to talk about how he was feeling, even if he was basically drunk by this point.