the epilogue of a girl i no longer know

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how he loved the california warmth her body radiated as she slept in his arms

she felt like a daydream
that stained on him like coffee

he watched her sleep, pretending
he was a ghost
so he wouldn't disturb her dreams,

but he complicated people far better than could break them,
and he still hoped he weighed on her guilty conscience-

knowing he couldn't let go,
for she was a cliff
her hands were its edge
watching him spill through her fingers
falling down the drain until he became small enough to climb back inside the womb of his mother.

there was a time when she wanted to fall from his lips
and rest her body on his pounding chest
just to taste the intoxication in his sweet words and soft hands.

i want you

in the way that you understood
how i always believed that sad
and beautiful
were always more or less of the same concept,

i want you

to want me
like the universe made us for one another
like the god you so believe in
put our bodies into this hallow earth
just for us to find each other

just so i

could walk you home

even if
for the last time.

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