Chapter 67.

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"Funny how a blessing feels just like a curse

Bad love hurts but somehow good love hurts me worse

'Cause lately I'm mistakin' honey for the bees

Havin' trouble sleepin' with you next to me

I sink in you like water

Pray you won't pull me under"


The rest of the double date went well, it consisted of Jimmy holding an ice pack against his jaw the bartender of gracious enough to give him, and Steve having to pull Harry off of him choking him in a head lock yelling at him that if he ever mentions my body again he'll do more than just strangle him.

Jimmy however, just sat there smiling like an idiot afterwards, like he didn't just get socked in the face, and for the rest of the night he and Harry went back to being the best of friends, still bickering but I've realised that's how they show their affection for each other.

As we were leaving, Jimmy pulled me aside, grinning at me and pointed to his jaw "See this?"

I frowned at him, feeling awful "I know I'm so sorry about that"

He shook his head waving me off "Nah, that was a love tap, we've done worse to each other"

But then he shoved my shoulder like a teenage girl, giving me a smug grin and looked at Harry over my shoulder talking to Steve and back to me, pointing to his jaw again "He really likes you"

I'm still trying to wrap my head around how Jimmy wanted me to take him getting punched in the face as a compliment, but then again I'm trying to wrap my head around this world in general.

Strange, strange reality to be a part of.

When we got home to his apartment, Harry looked more tired than usual, and I knew something was bothering him again.

I'm not sure if it's lingering from the conversation we had about people hurting me, or someone taking me away - maybe it had to do with whatever Jimmy said about his basement, I have no clue but his mind isn't being kind to him.

I had tried to get him to talk to me, asking if there was anything I could do, or anything that would help if he spoke about it, but it was like he locked himself inside that room in his head where he suffers alone in the corner and no one can see him.

I've noticed, when Harry is like that now, it's not how it used to be where it felt like he shut me out, it feels more like he's keeping himself inside and not knowing how to let me in, dragging himself away like a wounded animal that's gone off on it's own to die quietly.

It's gut wrenching.

When I was caring towards him tonight it looked like it made him feel even worse, before we went to sleep, as if love burned him when it touched him because he felt like he didn't deserve it.

I remember him saying the night he turned up at my apartment in pieces he said some nights are worse than others, and I guess this was one of his worse nights he was referring to.

I imagine that everything that's happened with us, going through emotions he isn't used to would be taking its toll on his nervous system, maybe his brain is trying to figure out what's happening.

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