Jealous

600 14 2
                                                  

Age : 14

- ELEVEN -

" El, I've gotta go, I have something to do..", Mike said quietly through the phone.
" Oh, what are you doing? "
" I'm hanging out with Max today, I'll come see you as soon as I'm done though. "
" ...okay. " I said and hung up before he could reply.

What the hell do they even talk about?
They have nothing in common. And how come they only hang out when I'm not there?

Something fishy is going on, I can practically smell it! And I know it's not just the shitty vents in this stupid old cabin.
Mike always blows me off for Max now. I still have some time before I'm able to leave the cabin. It's so lonely here..
I guess he's just moved on. I always feared this would happen, ever since I saw them in the gym. And now my worst fears are becoming real, God, what did I do to deserve this?!
I sniffled and used my powers to lock my door, immediately burying my face in my pillow and full on ugly crying, loud sobs, labored breathing and all.

And this is exactly why Mike lost his love for me. I'm ugly. How could someone like me expect to be with someone like him?
I've got this stupid short brown hair, it's curly and unruly and UGLY !
Max has such beautiful ginger hair, it's the perfect color, long and soft and wavy. Not curly or straight, perfectly in the middle.
And I've got these mind numbingly plain brown eyes. Looking into my eyes is like staring into the cabin walls.
Max has beautiful ocean blue eyes, the kind that you can totally lose yourself in. They're so light and lovely and mine are just ugly.
Max is so perfect, she's like Ariel, an astonishingly amazing fairytale.
And I'm just, me.

But Max has Lucas right? Ugh doesn't matter, she can have all the guys she wants.

And her personality makes her even more desirable. She's strong and full of willpower and independence. She stands up for herself, speaks out when something is wrong or bothering her.

I'm weak and anxious. Even a stupid boom of thunder frightens me. I hide under the covers and cry like a little baby. I require Mike's comfort, I need it. I'm so hard to handle, I'm such a burden. Mike must hate me. He always has to make me feel better and reassure me, I'm so annoying. And when something bothers me I'm too pussy to speak out about it. I'm so painfully weak. The memories of my past holding me back from independence and an anxiety free life.

Max is also so sweet and kind. She's loyal and would do anything for the people she loves. Her bravery overcomes all her fears and doubts. She performs selfless acts daily, wether big or small, to show how much she cares for her friends. She cracks jokes and always knows the right thing to say. Overall, she's got a personality that no one can beat, especially not me.

I'm selfish and needy. My loyalty is more of just overbearing clinginess that pushes everyone away. My bravery is nonexistent, as my nightmares and flashbacks hold me back from even having a voice. I can't even see my friends, and when they're allowed to visit I don't do anything for them. I let my childish happiness overcome any chance of being actually valuable to them. My jokes are lame as I still am trying to develop my own sense of humor, and me knowing the right thing to say is the funniest joke I can make. My personality is toxic and no one should be held down with the injustice of knowing me.

I cried until the exhaustion overcame me and I passed out of weariness.

- M I K E -

I arrived at the cabin at around 6:30, a small bag in my hand and I went to knock but the door just creaked open. El never leaves it unlocked, that's so dangerous, why would she do that?

I stopped by the police station before coming here to make sure it's fine with Hopper. He said yes and that he was working late so if I had no way home I could sleep over. He said it reluctantly though and gave me a set of rules.
Three feet apart at ALL TIMES.
Sleep in SEPARATE rooms.
NO kissing or cuddling or any inappropriate touching under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
I nodded with a nervous chuckle and went on my way.

I walked into the cabin, peering my head through each room, searching for El.
I got to her room and saw her there, sitting her bed as she sniffled and lightly hiccuped.
Her skin was red and patchy, tears covering her puffed up cheeks, her nose, eyes and lips looking puffier too.

" El, what's wrong? " I asked quietly, disregarding the bag in my hand and placing it on her desk to sit next to her and pull her into my chest.
" I'm not jealous " She cried into my shirt, I could feel her tears soaking my shirt.
" What? "
" I-I'm not jealous, Mike.." She tried to say in a stronger tone but her voice just cracked and faded.
I placed my finger under her chin, moving her head to look up at me, " El, honey, what are you talking about? " I said with a shake of my head.
" Max " She stated weakly.

And then it all clicked. Fuck I'm such a shitty boyfriend..
I've been busy with Max so much that I haven't even had time for my girlfriend. And now she's totally jealous and it's all my fault.
" I'm sorry..but El can I tell you something? "
" No..I already know you want to break up with me so you can just go. I hope you'll be happy with Max.." She replied, pushing me away from her. I pushed back a chuckle, it's amazing how wrong she is about this.
I got up and grabbed the small bag from her desk, " Here, this is for you. " I said gently, handing it to her. She peered inside and pulled out a small satin box, she looked up at me with a confused expression painted on her face.
I wiped away her stray tears and continued,
" open it. "

El looked back down and opened the box, and when she saw what was inside her expression changed immediately. It was like the push of a button as her features lightened and she gained a light smile.
She looked up at me, " Mike..." she started but didn't take her sentence very far before she started crying.
" I'm sorry, do you not like it? " I asked, worried.
El shook her head, " I love it Mike "
I laughed a little and took the box from her, removing the small heart necklace that was carefully placed inside.
I moved El's hair to the side and put it on her,
" You look beautiful. " I smiled at her.
She looked up at me with a big sideways smile and I helped her get rid of the rest of her tears.
" I've been spending so much time with Max because she's been helping me pick out what to get you. She'd never try to come between us El, I promise. She loves Lucas and she helped me because she loves me and you together. She said we're like ' some real life fairytale shit ' " I explained, cutting myself short to laugh,
" El I'd never hurt you, I love you so much, you're my princess. " I finished.

El looked up at me, her smile even wider and I couldn't help but lean in to kiss her. It was longer than the past few, lasting a few seconds.
I held her head in my hands and pulled away to look at her.
" I love you Mike "
" I love you too princess, so much. "
" I'm not jealous "

~

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Lmk what you guys think of this one ❤️

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