Chapter 9

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She gave herself
in small doses
so when people left
it would hurt less

- By Samantha King Holmes

Lana

"Lia, you're going to get mommy late for work!"

"Coming mommy!"

I begin to place the dirty dishes into the dish washer before I heard her delicate footsteps on the stairs. I look to my right to see her carrying all her school contents while her hair was one huge mess.

Oh my god!

"Amelia Mai-Lee Carter, what on earth have you been up to?" I gasp as I place my hand on both hips,

She stood in the position she was in and watched me with guilt,
"Sorry mommy, I went under my bed to get my papers. They..fell." She placed her things down,

I heaved a sigh before I approached her with a heavy foot.

"Come here darling, let me fix your hair." I sit on the couch and pull her up to sit on me. I adjust her hair again while she fiddles with whatever she was occupied with.

"Mommy, why haven't I seen Ivan before?" She asked, then she turned around and looked up at me, "He isn't really a friend is he?"

I took Amelia's hand and turned her around so she faces me, and sighed.
"Why do you say that baby?" I ask,

"I've never seen Ivan. And your only friends are Riley and Stevie." She replied with a shrugging shoulder,

"Lia, just because you don't see Ivan often doesn't mean he is not my friend. I just... haven't seen him in years." I said and watched Amelia's face twist in confusion. I decided that I was no longer going to say anymore because I didn't want to confuse her any further. She was still a very young child, so all this would be too much for her to take.

"Will I see Ivan again?" She asked innocently,

I stared at her incredulously and shook my head,
"No sweetie, he won't be coming back."

"Okay!" She chirped and turn back around like as if Ivan had just slipped out of her mind instantaneously. "Mommy, I think we're going to get late." She giggled,

I nodded my head and then stood up,
"Yes, very late." I reply, "Come on baby, let's get going."

I closed the door to my car as I managed to carry my hand bag on my right shoulder while with my left, it carried the piles of paper work in the heavy folder. I pressed one of the buttons on my car keys and then carried on walking toward the building.

"Morning, Dr Carter."

I greeted everyone at work whilst also remembering that dad was going to be absent for the day. I can barely get my belongings up, how am I going to managed the day without him?

On a normal day, I can manage a full day without dad however, nowadays things are just getting too much for me and I can no longer do it on my own. I feel so pressured and so futile, I sometimes do contemplate to leave my job one day.

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