5. Was

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My door was closed, I had music playing through my headphones as loud as possible. Just so I wouldn't hear the piercing sound of pleasure

I knew when this was arranged that nothing would change. I knew the pain and struggle. I knew that he had no interest in me. Yet, why did I not wish to leave? I somehow still loved him deep inside. There was no other place for me either. I felt trapped.

I pull my hands over my headphones, trying to press them harder onto my ears as if I was wishing for the music to be even louder. Wishing to not hearing anything anymore. But I could still hear it. His pleasure and the suffering she'd go through after that. If only, someone was there to warn her of the man she met.

Tears flowed down my cheeks as I tried to focus on the music.

But it was no use.

"You're so beautiful," he groans as his hands roam her body. Making her feel unique, special. 

"I want to be deaf," I mumble to myself in the hopes that I would eventually stop hearing. In the hopes to finally escape all of this and start over again.

Where to? I didn't know. All I knew was that this isn't my place to be and would never be.

When after a while I guessed that the house finally quieted down. I took my headphones off and decided to wash my face.

I walk through the empty and dark hallway as I try to wipe my tears. Those weren't tears of sadness that he didn't love me. Those were tears of shame that I got myself into this. Tears of shame.

I was too busy wiping my tears away that I didn't notice the light coming from the bathroom and opened the door. I look up, my eyes slowly opening at the light, only to widen even more as the shock finally got to me.

"I'm sorry!" I slam the door shut and turn around staring at the empty and dark hallway.

The door opens again and the light falls through the darkness as the sun rises from the horizon early in the morning.

I can feel a hand on my shoulder and pull me into the bathroom, slowly. The door closes in front of me and he turns me around.

This time he is dressed and looking at me with a smug smile until it suddenly dropped from his lips and fell into a frown.
"What's wrong?"

What's wrong? Is he for real? Doesn't he know what he's doing? I can't even believe him. He makes me feel even more ashamed of myself!

He places his hand on my cheek, looking straight in my eyes searching for mine. I didn't want to look in his eyes but he just kept searching.

"Nothing."
"But, you've obviously been crying."
"I said. Nothing." And I push him away but he holds onto me, pulling me closer until his back hits the wall and I fall into his chest.
"Hmmmm," he hums, a smirk tugging on his lips. "Don't tell me you also want to play-" And his words were cut off by the echoing sound of a hand hitting him across the face.
"Suck your own dick if it even exists," I growl and turn around, walking out of the bathroom and back into my room.

I slam the door right after I enter my bedroom, letting out the breath that I had been holding since I walked out of the bathroom.

Jun stares at the hallway that I just walked through. His back against the wall as he sighs, frowning.
He raises his hand to his cheek, pressings his cold fingers against the burning skin.

He sure was left in thoughts for a minute but soon those thoughts drifted away. "I'll get her one day since she's in fact, my wife," he smiles to himself and turns himself towards the mirror. 

~author note~

Jun is rude here damn bitch

Anyways it's either that or we get some depressing shit but okay y'all will get some sweet jun too so no worries!! 

This story just was a must to me cuz it's about damn time we speak of this theme!

Make sure to check out my other Jun story 'balance' for this month (always daily updates~)


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