Chapter Eleven - But I Gave Him My time For Two Or Three Nights

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"I don't mind," he smiles again and he has such a beautiful smile, why doesn't he believe me when I tell him he's beautiful, "How about today, we work on you controlling this bipolar disorder hmm?" I ask him and he sighs and nods.

"But I wanted to.. take you on a date," he says sadly and now it's hit me, it's hitting me pretty hard.

My breathing increases and he rolls his eyes but laughs.

"Harry calm down," I'm struggling to breath here, this is so embarrassing, he asks me on a date and I'm freaking out! fucks sake, this is why no one likes me. I freak out and panic over everything.

"I.. I...I," I gasp in each word and he rubs my back gently, "C-can't," my breath becomes shaky and I'm pulled against his chest for like the millionth time in three days.

"Harry, calm down and listen to my heart again," I listen to the beat of it slowing down, I mentally count each beat and my breathing becomes steady again, and it's in time to his heart beats. I lay there for a while with him holding me and rubbing my back and whispering 'you're alright', 'you're fine', and 'I got you' that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.

"You ok now?" he asks and I nod against his chest, "What happened then baby?"  I shake and he holds me tighter, it's nice having his strong arms round me, makes me feel secure.

"It's silly" I groan and cover my face.

"Just tell me! Nothing is silly, was it because I want to take you on a date?" I nod ashamedly and he doesn't laugh or chuckle or anything rude, he just strokes my arm up and down and kisses my head, and I'm thankful for that.

"I understand," he takes a breath, "that this.. may be overwhelming for you," I nod, course it is. He's Niall Horan and I'm just another fan.

"You think?!" he laughs and goes back serious again, his blue eyes sparkling as they look into mine.

"Alright alright, but why did you panic about it? Wouldn't you be happy?" he sounds a little disappointed, I hate my panic attacks sometimes, they ruin everything.

"Yeah, I'm more than happy! But it's because," Alright, kick in the fear of rejection, "I've liked you since I first saw you and now, I.. I.. kiss you and you hold my hand and it's very overwhelming!" I admit and my voice cracks at the end, but again he doesn't laugh at me or move away because I admitted I liked him.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about, I like you too," What? Oh fuck. Oh my god. I'm gonna die.

'cause of death: sexy football player liking him back, died in his arms'

Yep I can see it now, you're all invited.

"Y-you do?" all he does is kiss me and I'm not complaining, he can kiss me whenever he wants, he rests his forehead against mine and nods.

"Course I do, why wouldn't I? How about that date?" he smiles and I nod.

I wouldn't love anything more. Maybe if we were boyfriends, I'd enjoy that to the moon and back, Wow. That would be so amazing! Oh my god, then we could get married! No I'm getting ahead of myself, it's just a date Harold. Just a date.

"Yeah, I'd like that," I feel my cheeks heat up and he kisses them, both in turn. How did we get to here? I said that last time and well.. we advanced from there too. Will we actually go further than this?

"Then, I'll take you out tonight at 8, we'll go for a movie date," I almost shout yas because movie dates are life.

"Yay! What movie?" I love movies, and that may not have been the manliest thing I've ever done 'yay!' good Harry, good. Now he thinks you're weird. I am, talking to myself and shit.

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