Wade strikes first

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Wade was in a good mood. He offered to take half of Petey's - oops Spidey's Patrol area., so spidey would have time off, and Tony's in a board meeting. So now they could hang out. And he didn't even run into anyone shady so he didn't have to shoot anyone.

White and yellow has been shouting date ideas at him for an hour, he even already chose what they were going to do. (he figured spidey wouldn't be up for spray painting billboards, or any other kind of vandalism, so bowling it is. Sorry yellow and thanks white. )

He was about to turn his bike and go to their meeting point when he heard argument from a nearby ally. He sighed. He was really hoping to avoid breaking his promise to not killing anyone. He hoped this won't be too.... Criminal-y.

"Boy, if you think you know more than me then you'll get more than just that slap." an older man warned just as Wade stopped his bike and walked in. The three people inside ignored him.

Wade sighed, looked like a domestic abuse case. He really hated those, reminded him of his dad. Peter convinced him to let the abusing fuckers go to the Police

He'd used to kill abusers if he came across them before, but Peter was really kind like that.

Then he took a closer look towards the couple and the younger boy...... Something about them looked familiar.

★ the kid looks kinda like his meaner dad in law★ white commented idly

• Yeah But I swear we saw the older dude somewhere•

★ Is this what the nicer dad in law meant with the time travel thing?★

"One way to find out" Wade muttered.

"Hey hey hey, what's going on over here? You people lost?" Wade asked. The..... family? Two adults and one kid. Looked at him like he grew three heads.

"Who- who are you?" the woman stammers, taking a few steps back from the kid. Her pupils are so blown he can see it from where he was standing, probably a case of cocaine. Jeez, she looks like a really caring mother.

"I'm Deadpool, you know, the katana guy? Mercenary? " hey, maybe they aren't the ones they had to be on the look out for and Wade didn't have to take them to the tower and be busy with this mess instead of a date with Spidey.

"Are you here to kill us?! I'll have you know-" the man began but was waved off

"Naaaaaah, kinda on probation right now, besides, I work with S.H.I.E.L.D....... To some extent " he reassured. He had no idea why though, and he probably wasn't supposed to let people know that he was working with S.H.I.E.L.D

Well, whoops.

•great job dumbshit•

★shut up no one has to know, we just have to play it cool★

•and you sure they won't tattle?•

(Hey, you reader over there, keep this a secret from old eye patches and his fathers in-law pretty please with chimmichanga on top?)

There, yellow, shut up.

"-What in the name of god are you wearing? " Wade catches the tail end of the man's barrage of questions.

"My.... Costume? You know like all masked vigilantes?" Wade replied still hoping.

The man sputtered, "What do you mean all vigilantes? How many are there?" Now Wade was sure these were the people The good cap were talking about. Welp there goes his date, bye bye bowling ally.

"You know what? Forget that, what year is this? "

"What kind of lunacy is this?!"

"Just answer the question dude."

"It's 1973 of course!"

"Bzzt, it's 2019, and you my sir have time travelled. " Wade was yet again treated to the sputtering of the guy, he does look funny sputtering.

"THAT'S NOT - " Wade's hand stopped his rambling.

"Don't worry about it dude, the superheroes were already alerted that something like this might happen. But we do have to take you to Avengers tower. " Wade muttered and reached for his com.

"Are you going to contact someone who's in-charge? " the man says, sounding like one of those, 'I-demand-to-see-the-manager' people

Wade raises an eyebrow. Then remembers he's still wearing his mask. Damn, babyboy is breaking his habit of wearing it all the time, but he didn't think he got used to not having it on.

•for the love of all things good do not start thinking sappy•

★Shut up, It's cute when he gets sappy★

• As if! He gets this weird smile on his face, and he looks lovesick•

★he is lovesick. And you sound like tsundere anime character ★

The man however didn't deter. And kept looking at him expectantly

Wade shrugs,

"I am I guess, I'm calling spidey, he'd probably be able to help more than me. "

"This.... Spidey, is an authority figure around here? "

"Nah, he's my boyfriend, but he'll be able to get us a ride, my bike can't really hold us all. " Wade explained. He hoped Spidey would call one of his nicer family members, or maybe an agent from S.H.I.E.L.D.

On second thought, not an agent. Most of them tend to stare at him..... It gets uncomfortable. And if the agent is someone they hadn't met before, Spidey would have to tell them to not stare at him again. Wade shook his head and looked back at the guy.

The man's face looked like he sucked on a lemon,

"Boyfriend? Like 'your fella'? You're a fag?" he asked hotly.

Right, homosexuality wasn't really big in their time period, It's ok, Wade could handle it. He'd just calmly explain to the guy that love is -

"You and all your kind should die, and leave this planet alone. Stop infecting those who are still not -"

Wade...... Kinda just saw red. He realised what he did when the woman who has been quiet up until now cried out,

"HOWARD! " And oh, ohhhh, oh boy, Wade just punched his boyfriend's Grandfather. He was so not getting any kisses for a while.

He looked towards the boy who was looking at him cautiously. Not as upset as he thought a boy would be seeing his father being punched.

His father.

His father


Wade is so so screwed.

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