Deathless (Editing)

Chapter 17: The Brightest Star

Instantly, my heart sank and my breath hitched in the back of my throat. The apprehension in his gaze and the stiffness of his posture could only mean one thing. It was time.

Tolly offered his arm, and, out of a sense of duty, I took it.

We walked brusquely to the back of the tent. He lifted the flap for me, and I stepped into the chill of night.

"We leave," he declared, dragging me in the direction of the river.

"When will the Lord High Commander join us?"

"Shortly," he muttered.

Nearly breaking into a jog to keep up, we wound our way through camp, keeping mostly to the shadows. When we arrived at the harbor, he pulled me through a maze of cargo crates, to the end of the dock.

"They are readying the ship," he rasped, breath smoking in the chill of the wind.

My eyes widened, and I yanked free from his grasp. Reflexively, I turned in the direction of my dormitory. Panic came unchained in me, and my mind narrowed on my short sword. It was locked away in the trunk in my room.

 "My trunk," I cried, but he grabbed my wrist and reeled me back.

"It was collected," he whispered into my ear.

My heart felt sunken and cold at the realization that soon I would be home. The roads I knew so well would be the same. The smell of fires in chimneys would waft over the inn. Azure and Mistress would be virtually untouched by time or circumstance. But, what of me? When I saw them, would there be joy in my heart? In theirs? And if so, for how long?

Worried and brokenhearted, I sat down on a wooden cargo box, and I stared into the starry waters.

Seconds or hours passed in the interim. I did not care. My attention was fixed on the horrors of what was to come, on the pain of the past, on the emptiness of the present. I was adrift, blind and gagged.

Then, I felt him take a seat next to me. I felt the press of his thigh against mine. I didn't retreat from his proximity, even if I wasn't particularly keen on it. 

"Do we have plan?" I asked, staring ahead.

I didn't have the heart to turn to Tolly. Instead, I watched the attenuated shape of his shadow drape across the worn wooden boards. From the shape of his shadow and the soft rustling sound, I could tell he was running his hand through his hair, something he did when he knew something that I did not, but lacked the authority or will to confide in me.

"I hope." His words came out fractured and sharp.

Bracing against the autumn chill, I hugged my chest and fought against the urge to shiver. Perhaps taking pity on either my stubbornness or circumstance, Tolly shrugged out of his captain's coat and pulled it over my shoulders.

The warmth of him still clung to the coat's lining, and, immediately, I felt soothed. My fraying nerves ceased their incessant sparking, and, for the briefest of pauses, the thoughts barraging the walls of my mind went still.

Instinctively, my hand gripped the edge of the crate.  The side of my hand brushed lightly against Tolly's hand. He did not stir at the touch. Instead, he shifted closer to me, to my warmth.

"What do we do next?" I asked, my voice competing with the capricious gust that blew over us, ruffling our sleeves and catching in my hair.

Tolly turned his head, and I could feel my cheeks prickle with heat the moment I felt his eyes on me. "What do you want, Riverly?"

My brows shot up at this. What I wanted never seemed to matter to anyone except maybe Mistress and Azure. A Sullied's wants and dreams were things to be denied, denied by the world, denied by fate, denied even by most Sullieds. Yet, with a simple question, it felt as if Tolly had offered me possibilities, a million of them. And I suddenly felt overwhelmed.