Chapter 38

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Chapter 38

Daniel tells me to wait inside his car when we arrive at his dealer's house. Or at least I think it's his dealer's house. Maybe it's his friend's or somebody else's, I honestly don't have a clue. For all I know it could be a girl that he's talking to right now. But I refuse to even think about that possiblility. I really need to stop being paranoid about this kind of stuff. It was pretty damn childish of me to even think that Daniel would be involved with another girl, although Daniel is really good looking so I wouldn't be surprised if tons of other girls had already set their sights on him before me. Yet, somehow, miraculusly, he's mine and he was now going to prove to me just how much he really cared about getting me what I want. And the first thing I want--of course--is him, and then the second thing I most want is a chance to escape. An opportunity for me to forget about all the horrible and downright shitty events that have happened to me these past few months--these past few years really--- and for me to just let everything go, all of my inhibitions, and set myself free. I want to be freed from this internal hell taking place inside my brain right now. These pessimistic, self degrading thoughts I have are never ending, and at a time they seemed practically impossible to avoid. Everywhere I went, they followed me, almost haunting me. Whenever I felt even a small sliver of confidence, they would come creeping back up on me, consuming my brain until I had no choice but to hate myself and think about all the reasons why nobody else could ever love me. My father never loved me. My mother didn't seem to either--or if she did she had a pretty fucked up way of showing it. Asher never loved me either--he manipulated me. And just recently I was starting to wonder whether Lizzie really cared about me too, or if she was just faking it like the others did. Lately it seemed like she was more upset about the fact that her and Evan failed rather than feeling upset about what he did to me. This thought truly sickened me and if it hadn't been for Daniel's determination to talk to me again, then I wasn't even sure if I would still be here right now.

Speaking of Daniel, I notice that he's coming out of his "friend's" house right at this moment. He has this hard expression written across his face, and for a second I start to panic a little, wondering if something went wrong and that he was unable to get what we wanted. I wait patiently until he reaches the car and opens his door, sliding back in.

"Hey, what happened? Did you get it?" I ask him, trying to keep my voice steady and calm.

"Yeah, I did," he replies in a low voice. "I'll show you once we get back to your place."

I can feel my palms starting to sweat a little at the mention of returning back to my house. "Um, maybe that's not such a good idea," I say tentatively. "Maybe we should go back to yours instead," I suggest, placing my hand softly on his shoulder.

"Okay, that's fine. My brother probably won't even be there anyway. Not that he would really care about what we're doing," He adds, chuckling a little.

"Right," I say, laughing with him.

He then places his hand on the back of my neck and pulls me towards him. I can feel his tongue poking its way into my mouth and a faint shiver goes down my spine. I feel his fingers gently massaging my back as he continues to trace his lips over mine. I fully wrap my arms around his waist and deepen the kiss, my whole body pulsing with an uncontrollable desire for him. I have never wanted someone so badly before; I felt this intense need to touch him and show him that I was completely his now.

"Nora, I don't think I can take this much longer," Daniel chuckles softly into my ear. "I think you should let me drive."

For a second I don't quite register what he says and instead I proceed to reach my hand up underneath his T-shirt and kiss his stomach. His breath catches a little when I do this, and I slowly take my hands away and look back up at him.

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