Chapter 57.

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"Fuck you (fuck you)
Fuck you very, very much
'Cause your words don't translate
And it's getting quite late
So, please don't stay in touch"


It's been just over a week since the date with Harry, and to be honest I'm still trying to recover from it.

I thought Harry couldn't surprise me much more, and even though I know there's so much I don't know about him, and he's so much more experienced than me when it comes to sex I never thought I'd experience something like that.

I also never thought I'd enjoy it.

Harry and his mood switches were like day and night, after we managed to remove ourselves from the hood of the car, he literally carried me like the limp ragdoll I was back over to the blanket on the grass.

He was doting, affection and quite tender if I'm being honest.

When I finally recovered enough for us to be able to drive home, he spent the car ride either holding my hand or stealing small touches, whether it was smoothing my hair behind my ear when we were stopped in traffic, or leaning over to kiss me he was far more soft and gentle on the trip home.

I still don't entirely know what happened that day, so, I ended up becoming Harry and googling it.

Trying to understand why I got such a thrill out of the way he acted.

Googling that, was a terrible mistake, while I was hoping for a Wikipedia page - I got traumatised by some of the most graphic porn advertisements I've ever seen.

Maybe I should try a library.

Actually, maybe I could ask Sophie, she knows about this sort of thing, well actually she just knows about most things.

I just have to think of how to explain it...

"See, what happened was - you'll never believe it, what happened is, I wanted to repay Harry for this ice-cream incident - I'll explain that later, anyway we went on a date in a field and it ended with him cutting my underwear off, smacking my ass with his belt like I was a fucking pinata - which I still have some faint marks from, bruise like a peach I do, and then he just kind of fucked me over the hood of his car like he was practising Kung-Fu with my cervix until I genuinely felt disabled."

That sounds accurate.


I'm starting to think all the metaphors I used with Harry in regards to feeling insane with him are actually becoming reality.

Or maybe, I've just always been this way and it took him to bring it out of me, I'm not entirely sure yet.

It's been a fairly steady day at the shelter so far, and I'm getting the hang of it more every day.

It's almost lunch time, which is my favourite part of my day because I spend it out with the dogs, I usually pick a different one each day to sit and eat lunch with and keep it company.

There's one dog we got in recently though, that I've developed a special soft spot for, I'm the only one he will actually let in his kennel without attacking, I'm not sure why but I guess he can just sense that he can trust me.

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