Nineteen: I can't forgive you

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Never had I dreaded those six stupid letters in my life.

I had, had the most stressful, heartbreaking and friendship ruining weekend of my life and I wasn't ready to go back to school for the first three days.

So now it's Thursday and Finn has been giving me multiple updates on what has been happening.

I still haven't been able to get my phone back from Tom, being too scared that I was going to bump into Sadie or Jacob whilst being out. He has been texting Finn and letting him know that Sadie has been calling me a lot. I told him to block her so that she wouldn't bother him and also for me.

He didn't.

He said that I should talk to her, figure out what happened and get the full story, before taking any actions that could make our friendship worst.

Honestly, Tom should be a therapist.

He would get lots of clients.

Mainly me.

But still.

So as Finn and I drive to school I try to distract myself. I try not to think of what could possibly happen.

Instead I play with Finns hand that's softly resting on my thigh. It's an action that he does that brings butterflies to my stomach but makes me feel so comforted at the same time.

I really, really like him.

I smile to myself as I look out the window, at the houses that surround us with little kids riding in their scooters and bike on their way to school. Some with older siblings, parents or other family members holding their hands as they walk with them.

It makes me miss being a kid, miss the freedom and not stressing about the little things. When the biggest problem was that we couldn't go to blockbuster to get the new High School Musical DVD.

But now look at me.

I'm failing Geography.

My ex-boyfriend cheated on me with my ex-bestfriend.

And I'm falling in love with my fake boyfriend.

I'm am currently not thriving as an individual.

Finn pats my thigh softly and drags me out of my day dream as I look at him with a soft smile on my face.

"Come on babe, we're here." He says smiling at me and quickly giving my lips a quick peck before getting out of the car and grabbing his and my bag.

I get out of the car with a silent pep talk to myself in my head, telling myself that I was ok and to only to talk to her if she approaches me. To accept her request to talk to me because I'm not a stubborn bitch. To try and fix this because I love her.

Ok yeah, I've totally got this.

I grab my bag from Finn giving him a quick smile before looking ahead of me.

Why is everyone looking at me?

Omg do they know?

I swear to fuck if they kn-.

"Hey Millie." Lilia says as she passes me, interrupting my thoughts and making me breathe deeply, almost bumping into Finns chest from the surprise that she gave me.

"Hey Lil." I say back, in a breathless way.

"How are you? You haven't been at school in while, everything alright?" She says in a kind and concerned matter.

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